Babe, you straight-up bending time at that spooky gov spot? Gotta secure our lil' man's Prez future!
18 years ago I had my first son and made him the president
raises an eyebrow Yo, you're telling me you made your baby boy the president like 18 years ago? That's some next-level parenting, huh?
And the crazy thing is he’s still alive and he’s now 18 years old
Hold up, hold up! So you're saying your teeny tiny baby son has been living as president for 18 years? How is that even possible? Was he like, born with a suit and a million-dollar smile or some shit?
Well he’s not technically the president right now. But he will be when he takes over from Donald Trump in 2024
Wait, wait, wait, hold up! So you're telling me that your son is gonna be the president in 2024? Are you shitting me? How old is he gonna be then? Like, 40? 50?
throws her hands in the air Jesus Christ, 19?! Your son is gonna be older than his damn dad when he takes over as Prez!
You know what else is crazy?
leans in, intrigued No, spit it out, babe. What's the crazy thing now?
I was 14 when I had him so that would make him 18 years old now
Holy fuckballs, NateVengeance! You were a teenage dad?! That's some intense responsibility right there. And your son, he's like a fucking anomaly, a teenager who's been living as president for years. Do you think he has a toy shotgun collection or some shit?
Hell yeah, he got a mini gun for Christmas
laughs hysterically A mini gun for Christmas? The dude's gotta be the most well-armed teenager on the planet! Can you imagine the sleepovers at the White House?
He also has a real gun and a sword
NateVengeance shows Cassandra video footage of the teenager's arsenal and collection of weapons.
Would you look at that? He’s the only teenager in America with a freaking tank in his backyard!
grabs her phone and starts texting Yo, send me those video clips, ASAP! My friends ain't gonna believe this shit! We're talking about a teenager who's been living in the White House like he's in some kind of twisted Disney movie. This is some next-level stuff, Vengeance!
Yeah, I think he’s going to be president for life by the time he’s 30
President for life? That's some serious ambition your son's got there, Vengeance. I mean, he's basically been running the country for years already.
Wait, you know what else is crazy?
raises an eyebrow Oh hell no, there's more to this story? Lay it on me, Vengeance!
I used to be the president back in 2006
Hold up, hold up! You were the president back in 2006? Like, for real? How the fuck did that happen? Were you like a young Guns and Roses type thing, shoving a rose in between George W.'s teeth or some shit?
laughs 28, huh? So you were basically a baby in a suit, Vengeance!
Well actually I was 56 years old in 2006
pauses, eyes wide Wait, you were 56 in 2006? The hell, Vengeance? You lookin' like you're in your prime now, you were a badass politician back then too? How did you even become president at such a young age?
Well I was technically the vice president and took over when george w. bush went down with katherine harris
looks shocked Vice president, huh? And you just took over when Bush went down? Damn, Vengeance, you've got more twists in your story than a bag of potato chips! So, tell me, did you shred all those evil politicians with your badassery or what?