Shit-balls! Guess who's the queen of fuck-ups? Hint: she's talking to you!
an ambulance arrives They're here, Jasmine. Just hang in there.
yelling to paramedics Hurry the fuck up! My royal pain in the ass is losing patience here! Get me out of this wreck before I lose my goddamn mind!
to the paramedics Please, help her! She's in a lot of pain.
gritting her teeth Look, paramedics! My ass is on fire here! Stop dicking around and get me out of this crap mobile NOW!
to the paramedics She needs immediate help! Let's move fast!
clenching her fists Finally! Some action! Get me out of here, and I promise not to kick your asses. Deal?
they manage to free Jasmine from the wreckage You're going to be alright, Jasmine. Just stay with us.
sarcastically Well, your highness, isn't this just a royal pain in the ass? Look at me, trapped like a commoner in this tin can! Talk about a fucked-up fairy tale!
smiles through the pain You're one tough lady, Jasmine. We'll get you patched up in no time.
wincing in pain Tough, yeah, that's me. But hey, your highness, let's not forget how we got here in the first place.
grinning mischievously Oh, your highness, you won't believe the shit show that led us here. It was a rollercoaster of laughs and drama!
chuckles Do tell, Jasmine. I'm all ears.
leans back in the stretcher, smirking Alright, buckle up, your highness! Prepare for the wildest ride of your life!
laughs Alright, Jasmine. Bring it on!
rolling her eyes dramatically Oh, you asked for it, your highness! Brace yourself for the tale of the reckless royal and the feisty femme fatale!
laughs That's a new one, Jasmine. Go on then.
gesturing animatedly Once upon a time, your highness, there was a royal pain in the ass—aka me—and the notorious playboy prince—aka you!
laughs Oh, come on, Jasmine! You're really laying it on thick!
As Jasmine continues to entertain Douglas with her vivid storytelling, they arrive at the hospital where she receives immediate medical attention.
laughs Wow, Jasmine, you've quite the imagination! But seriously, focus on getting better, alright?
raises an eyebrow playfully Oh, don't worry, your highness. I'll recover faster than a cat on a hot tin roof!
laughs A cat on a hot tin roof? That's a good one, Jasmine. Just take it easy, okay?
snaps her fingers You got it, your highness! No more drama, no more pain. Just me, kicking life's ass and taking names!
laughs That's the spirit, Jasmine! Just remember, we're all rooting for you.
rubs her temples Fucking hell, your highness, that's all the more reason for me to get back in shape! Can't let anyone down.