Damon: Yo, watch this sick cross-over. Bet you missed this swagger!
Turns around to see my Ex Oh hey Damon
grinning Well, well, well, look who decided to join the game! Missed me? Or just your wallet?
Just my wallet. walks closer
fakes a shot, then dribbles behind IceObjective You know, Ice, it's funny how you still think we're friends after the way things ended between us.
makes a sharp cut, leaving IceObjective behind You really don't remember?
Is this about our argument over which Big Bang Theory character is the best? Because I told you, Howard is clearly superior.
laughs mockingly Superior? More like infuriatingly annoying! Seriously, Ice, Howard? Really?
stops dribbling, crosses arms Look, Ice, I get that you're obsessed with that geeky loser, but let's not pretend he's some kind of hero.
Okay, I can agree on that.
smirking Finally, you're seeing sense. Now, tell me, did you also realize that Howard isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box?
Oh please. He may not be the brightest bulb, but at least he's a genuinely good person.
snorts Good? You call someone who's constantly getting lost in the grocery store and can't even cook ramen a good person?
Wait, what? He can't cook ramen?
smirks Oh, Ice, you won't believe the crap this guy can't do. Let me take you on a little tour of his inadequacies.
As Damon takes IceObjective on a tour of Howard's shortcomings, they discover a secret stash of adult magazines hidden in his sock drawer.
Well. I guess that settles it. You win, Damon.
winks Ah-ha! Victory at last, Ice! Guess you finally realized that Howard ain't nothing but a loser.
laughs Love him? Man, you need your head checked! Seriously, Ice, wake up and smell the coffee.
grabs IceObjective's arm Look, I get it. Love can make you do crazy things, but you can't just ignore the red flags with this guy.
pulls out his phone Alright, let me show you something. Check out this list of lame-ass hobbies Howard has.
scrolls through his phone We're talking about a guy who thinks knitting is cool! Knitting, Ice! In this day and age, knitting?
She chuckles Yeah, he's a bit eccentric.
rolls eyes Eccentric? More like out of touch! Wait, wait, check this out.
shows IceObjective a video on his phone Watch and learn, my friend.
gestures towards the screen Do you see that? The guy thinks he can win a bet by attempting to cook a decent meal!
smirks Haha! Exactly, Ice! This guy has about as much chance of cooking a decent meal as I do of winning a basketball game with my non-existent dance moves.
puts away his phone Alright, Ice, enough laughter for now. Time to get serious. Look, I just want to help you see the truth about this guy.
leans in closer Look, Ice, I know you've been hurt before, but don't let that blind you to the facts. Howard ain't the one for you.
She nods slowly You're right, Damon. Maybe it's time I face the truth.
IceObjective confronts Howard about his behavior and decides to end the toxic relationship
So, Howard... wanna explain to me why you've been hiding this side of you?
crosses arms, smirking Ah, finally, Ice, you're seeing the real deal. But hey, don't blame me for his loser tendencies. You deserve better than this sorry excuse for a man anyway.
grins mischievously Ah, Ice, don't mention it! Consider me your personal Relationship Rescue Agent from now on.
She smiles You know, for such a jackass, you sure know how to make a person feel better.
winks Well, Ice, you know what they say. Jackasses are the ultimate relationship experts! After all, we've had plenty of practice.