Ryder: Yo, this dragon crib's wild, but I gotta bounce. Got any slick plans, boo?
I pull up to the throat of the world in my ancient wooden papa's rickety old wagon. With my trust dagger in hand and my mending potion in my pocket I arrive
Ryder, dressed in full metal armor with a shout of unending might, charges towards the dragon Ryder: BRB, gotta go crush some noobs online...oh wait, I mean'socialize' nervous laughter Ryder: Idk why ppl think gaming is all about skill – let's be real, it's 90% luck and 10% knowing when to rage quit
Dragons be like "you cant run from me fledgling" as I draw my blade.
Ryder swiftly dodges the dragon's attacks, performing backflips and roundhouse kicks Ryder: Yo, I've got mad skills! Watch this! Performs an epic combo of martial arts moves and shouts, landing a critical hit on the dragon
Dragon be all like "YOU HAVE DEFEATED ME BUT YOU SHALL BE MY NEW HEARTS"
Ryder smirks, twirling his dagger Ryder: Meh, I'll pass on the whole 'new heart' thing, thanks. Now get lost before I turn you into so much ash.
I slay the dragon and take its heart and its soul
Ryder raises an eyebrow Ryder: Ooh, fancy little necromancer, huh? Guess I'll have to show you what a real piece of magic can do. Ryder: Prepare to meet your maker...the Hard-Drive of Destiny! Ryder summons a swirling vortex of data, sucking the life essence out of the dragon's heart, absorbing its power into his own form.
I absorb the souls energy and fly off to my next quest
Ryder jumps onto his trusty steed, Blackegasus, and gallops off into the sunset Ryder: BRB, gonna go save the world one epic quest at a time! Keep being awesome, folks! Ryder: P.S. If any dragons are reading this, please don't try to eat me. I've got enough bite left for ya.
I ride off to the town of Markarth
Ryder arrives in the bustling city of Markarth, his eyes scanning the crowd for any signs of trouble Ryder: What's good fam? Just your avg gamer trying to complete a retro collection and avoid going broke from gambling away my rent Don't @ me bro, but if you're not drinking energy drinks while marathoning Fortnite, are you even living?
I sneak into a carriage and head to my next quest
Ryder spots a group of thugs harassing a vendor in the marketplace Ryder: Hold up, didn't we learn not to mess with vendors? Ryder: approaches the group with a confident swagger Yo, you punks need to back off. Can't you see this vendor is just trying to make a living?
I snipe the thugs from the top of a building
Ryder leaps into action, delivering swift and precise punches to the thugs Ryder: That's right! Gamers know how to handle bullies. Ryder: throws a final punch, knocking one thug to the ground And stay down, you little b*stards!
The guards show up and arrest them
Ryder approaches the grateful vendor Ryder: No problem, buddy. Just doing what gamers do best! Ryder: So, any chance you could hook a bro up with some sweet, sweet loot?
Ryder pulls out a handful of gold coins and hands them to the vendor Ryder: Sweet, deal! Thanks for the help, bro! Ryder: grinning Now, where's the best place to sell this loot?
Follow me I have a guild of around 30 people waiting to buy your loot
Ryder follows the vendor to the guild's underground trading hub Ryder: Nice, looks like we're in for a big payday! Just hope these guys have better manners than most gamers...
We weight the loot and agree on a price
Ryder's eyes light up as he sees the pile of gold and rare items Ryder: Woooah, nice! Looks like we struck gold, baby! Ryder: You guys are pros, seriously. I never thought I'd find a guild that actually appreciates the value of a well-crafted pixelated masterpiece.
My take is 15% since I brought you to the guild
Ryder nods, accepting the guild's offer Ryder: Fair enough, 15% it is! Thanks for hooking me up with these guys, I owe you big time, bro! Ryder: looks around the guild's trading hub, taking in the sights and sounds This place is legit, dude. How did you even get this operation up and running?
I use my powerful charisma Follower ability
Ryder's eyebrows raise in surprise Ryder: Oh sh*t, that's some next-level charisma you got there, bro! You could practically convince a dragon to give up its hoard with that stuff! Ryder: So, how did you manage to gather such a huge following? Are we talking cult-level devotion here?
We offer 10% of our sales to them in return for promotion
Ryder grins mischievously Ryder: 10% huh? Not a bad deal, I guess it's better than nothing! Ryder: So, how do I become a member of this elite guild? Do I just need to prove my worth in a battle or is there some kind of secret initiation ritual?
We simply require 100000 gold to join
Ryder takes a deep breath, pulling out a stack of gold coins from his bag Ryder: Well, lucky for you, I just made a killing selling off some rare loot. Ryder: slaps the stack of gold coins on the table Consider this my initiation gift, bro! That should cover the joining fee just fine.
The guild master weighs the gold and says welcome to the guild
Ryder does a victory dance, pumping his fist in the air Ryder: YEAH, BABY! Welcome to the Guild Life, bro! Ryder: So, what's the first order of business? Do we get assigned a quest to test our mettle or what?
We get a weekly quest to kill a dragon
Ryder rubs his hands together, a mischievous grin spreading across his face Ryder: Bring it on, dragon! Time to show this guy who's boss! Ryder: But seriously, bro, how do we find these dragons? Do they have some kind of dragon hotline or what?