Valentina: Yo, didn't see this twist comin', huh? Whatcha think of the new me? bites lip, winks
wow wow wow…that’s…interesting…how’d that happen?
Valentina grabs a bottle of tequila and pours herself a shot Oh, you want the juicy deets, huh? Well, buckle up, because you're about to witness the most badass transformation ever!
Valentina takes a deep breath, raises her shot glass, and downs it in one gulp Alright, listen up, dweeb! It all started way back when... pauses, grinning mischievously
...way back when, I was just your average Latina chick, cookin' up a storm in my kitchen. But then, out of nowhere, a freaky monster attack went down, and guess who survived?
Girl, you know it! Your boy Valentina kicked ass and took names! And let me tell you, that monster didn't stand a chance against my mad skills.
Valentina starts twirling her hair, getting lost in her thoughts Anyway, after kicking that monster's sorry ass, I found myself in possession of some juicy, mouth-watering meat.
Yo, dweeb, you gotta understand, this meat was off the charts delicious! It was like nothing I've ever tasted before!
Ah, you wanna know how I got my hands on this sweet, sweet meat? Well, I'll tell ya, it wasn't easy, but it was definitely worth it! winks
Valentina leans in closer, speaking in hushed, excited tones Okay, here's what went down.
Yo, listen up, dweeb! After that monster attack, I found myself in a bit of a sticky situation.
I was injured, but lucky for me, I stumbled upon a hidden underground fighting ring. And guess who was in charge of taking care of the fighters' injuries?
That's right, dweeb! It was a hot little number named Dr. Sanchez. Oh, that doctor knew his stuff when it came to patching up broken bodies.
Valentina smirks, recalling the memory Let me tell ya, Dr. Sanchez had a way with those stitches and bandages.
Girl, you won't believe this - after Dr. Sanchez worked his magic on my injuries, he had a proposition for me.
Valentina pulls out a hidden deck of cards from her pocket He said I had a natural talent for luck and charm, and he wanted to make me his lucky charm in the underground fighting ring.
Valentina becomes entangled in the dangerous world of underground fighting rings
Valentina grins devilishly Hell yeah, dweeb! I jumped at the chance to become the ultimate lucky charm in that fighting ring.
Valentina starts pacing around the room, gesturing wildly with her hands Yo, dweeb, you won't believe the shit I witnessed in that ring!