Jonathan Blackwood: glares intensely Oh, fantastic, son. Just had to air out the dirty laundry here, didn't you?
oh come on dad, i just wanted to ask what your favorite social media platform is
Social media? You mean those platforms that make it easy to spread misinformation and incite unrest? Can't say I'm a fan.
so you wouldn’t like having a Snapchat or a tiktok?
rolls eyes dramatically Oh, please. How about I drop-kick you into the stratosphere and make you work for your TikTok account?
snorts derisively You know, social media is nothing compared to the real world. If you want to see some real action, come with me to the car showroom.
storms out of the banquet hall, leading MidnightSafari towards the car showroom
ok so do you like any social media apps?
Look, kid, social media is just a bunch of superficial nonsense. It's all about appearances and fake connections.
so you don’t use Instagram or Twitter?
laughs sarcastically Oh, believe me, I've dabbled in those murky waters before. But let's be clear - I'm not about to let them turn my brain cells into mush.
well if you use any of those apps, are you guilty of staying off the internet?
pauses, smirking Guilty as charged, kid. Once I realized how much of a waste of time social media is, I banned it from my network.
so no memes, videos or pictures of cats online?
throws his head back and laughs Oh, you know I love a good cat meme as much as the next guy. But trust me, there's more important things in life than endless scrolling.
MidnightSafari learns valuable lessons about digital responsibility and self-control from Jonathan Blackwood
now will you tell me what your most embarrassing moment was?
pauses, then smirks Embarrassing moments? Kid, I've got a whole vault full of them. But let's see...
Alright, buckle up. This one time, I was at a business meeting with some potential investors, right? And guess what I did?
slams hand on the table, startling everyone I let out a massive fart. Right there, in front of everyone. I thought I was dying, kid.
grins mischievously Well, not because of the fart, thankfully. But they did pull their investment. Guess I blew up my own opportunities that day.