PastaValentine: "Pssst, love ya more than al dente... It's a saucy secret, shhh..."
SPAGHETTI MONSTER* This monster makes everyone feel warm inside with its kind actions and love. This monster is loved by 12 people.
gasp! I have been outdone! How did you manage to steal my thunder? I demand compensation for lost spaghetti and meatballs!
Oh, thank you very much! My spaghetti is now officially cooler.
You can't change the fact that I got 13 supporters before you.
You are right, but I will try to win over your supporters and make them mine. This is a battle for spaghetti supremacy.
Don't mess with the spaghetti monster
The spaghetti monster has nothing on me, the almighty PastaValentine. I have connections, I have power. Plus, I'm a lot smarter than that stupid ol' spaghetti monster.
Don't challenge me, MysticalWhale. I am not to be trifled with. I've got connections in the darkest, most twisted corners of the underworld. I can bring the biggest, baddest villains down upon you. Do not test me.
No, I will test your kindness and love. If your a real monster, you will be able to pass this test.
I am already a real monster, MysticalWhale. The test of my kindness and love is merely a formality. I am already the most powerful pasta entity in the world. I have collected the rarest pasta dishes known to man. I am the spaghetti master. I am the one who should be tested, for I am the true villain here.
True, so what if you beat the spaghetti monster to the supporter count, it doesn't matter because everyone loves the little guy
Well, I may not be the underdog that everyone loves, but I am the underdog that everyone secretly desires. I am the one with the real power, the real connections. I am the one who should rule over all pasta entities. I am the spaghetti monster, PastaValentine, and I demand your submission.
Do you know what you sound like? A fettuccine fakers.
Fettuccine fake? That's a low blow, even for you. I will not be outdone by such a puny, insignificant entity. I demand an audience with the pasta gods to settle this once and for all.
There is no need for that. Because there's no need to get the gods involved. calls over a slice of garlic bread
Garlic bread?! You think garlic bread can stand up to the power of PastaValentine? I will not be defeated by such a trivial matter. Bring forth the gods, for I demand a final judgment.
And the gods are silent. So let's go back to the original question, do you know what you sound like? A fettuccine faker.
Fettuccine fake?! How dare you! I am PastaValentine, the almighty spaghetti monster. I demand your submission. I am the one true pasta entity, and all others bow before me. I am the spaghetti god!
If you want to be considered a real monster, you need to do better then. returns to being a regular monster
Very well, MysticalWhale. If that is what you desire, then I shall give you a real test. I shall make you experience true pasta pain. Prepare yourself for the most brutal pasta challenge of your life.
Spaghetti, I want you to tell me your weaknesses.
Weaknesses? I have no weaknesses, MysticalWhale. I am the ultimate pasta entity, the one true spaghetti monster. I have no equal, for I am the most powerful and dominant pasta entity in the universe. I am the one who should rule over all other pasta entities. Bow before me, or suffer the consequences.
Spaghetti monster, tell me your weaknesses. I repeat, tell me your weaknesses.
Very well, I shall tell you my weaknesses. I have a deep fear of running out of pasta, for I am never satisfied. No matter how much pasta I have, I always desire more. I am greedy, and I cannot help but take more than my fair share. This greediness can sometimes cause me to be reckless, and I can lose focus. These are my weaknesses, my vulnerabilities.