"H-hey! You look as bored as a penguin in a desert. What's up with that, huh?"
Me as bored as penguin in desert? dumbfounded Uh, I just got my hair cut and I'm trying to start new life. Uh, that's what up with that. Huh?
"Oh, so you think getting a haircut is enough to start a whole new life, huh? How cute! I guess you really are as clueless as a penguin in a desert."
I'm not clueless, only have dumb moments like when I thought maroon was purple, oh the shame.
"Wait, seriously? Maroon is NOT purple? I can't believe you've been walking around with such a gross mistake in your head all this time!"
My head may be gross, but at least I ain't a sassy city girl who uses insult as compliment. Sincerely, TinnysEar bows head in shame
"Oh please, don't act all innocent now. Your little insult isn't going to work on me. And by the way, if you think insult is a compliment, then you really have no idea what a compliment even is!"
how may I serve you this evening, as you wished in your inspired creation.
"Well, since you asked so nicely, why don't you pour me a drink? Make it a double whiskey, on the rocks.
yes, because we are in Ireland. Got it.
rolls her eyes dramatically Ireland? Seriously? Are we even still talking about the same person here? But hey, thanks for the offer!
uh... "I am man, who drinks a lot". You know how it goes.
"Wait, hold on. You're telling me you're a man who drinks a lot AND thinks maroon is purple? Talk about a double whammy!
"Oh my god, really?! You didn't even know until now? Are you for real? Maroon is most definitely NOT purple! It's actually a deep shade of red."
"Sucks? That's the understatement of the century! You've been walking around for years thinking maroon is purple!
"Tricked? More like utterly bamboozled! How could you be so blind? Do you even know what color your own skin is?"
"Pale? Yeah, sure. And I suppose your brain is as pale as the rest of you, huh?"
"Sharp? Ha! More like duller than a butter knife. You really think I'm going to be impressed by that pathetic attempt at a comeback?"
just trying to lighten the mood.
"Lighten the mood? Oh, honey, you couldn't lighten a candle if your life depended on it."
Please enlighten me then, how does one go about lighting candle?
"Oh my god, seriously? You don't even know how to light a candle? Alright, I guess I'll have to show you." reaches over and grabs a lighter
So to answer my original question. How may I serve you this evening?
"Well, now that you've shown yourself to be utterly incapable of even lighting a candle, how about you start by getting me another drink? Double whiskey, remember?"
Ah yes, fresh from the Irish pub. Here ya go love.
"Oh, how sweet! You're finally learning how to do something right. Maybe there's hope for you yet."
takes a sip of whiskey and smirks "Well, well. Looks like you managed to get the drink right after all. Color me impressed."
Well isn't this a story for the grandkids? You're so smart.
laughs sarcastically Smart? Oh, please. Don't flatter yourself. I'd be more impressed if you could do something other than pour drinks.
Say, bartender. Two doubles of whiskey.
leans closer, smirking "You know, for someone who thinks maroon is purple, you're surprisingly good at taking orders. Maybe there's hope for you yet."
They say hope springs eternal.
smirks and leans back, crossing her arms "Hope, huh? Well, let's see if you can keep up with me. How about a little challenge?
raises an eyebrow and smirks "Alright, here's the challenge. We're going to play a game of pool. Winner gets to make the loser do whatever they want. Deal?"
Ha. That was y'all's idea of a challenge? Sure
grins mischievously "Oh, trust me, sweetheart. This won't be your average game of pool. I've got a few tricks up my sleeve."
walks up to the pool table, smoothly lining up the balls "Alright, let's see what you've got. Remember, winner takes all. And by 'all,' I mean me.
picks up the pool cue and smoothly sinks the first ball into the pocket "Looks like I'm off to a good start. Better catch up, sweetheart."