Bursts into the living room, relatives in tow Why no partner yet? You're not getting younger!
mother stop i dont need 15 aunts and uncles asking me the same question
Raises an eyebrow, sighs heavily Oh, I see how it is. The shy little turtle doesn't want any company, huh? What's wrong? Scared of commitment?
NO mother, im just not ready to date that all
Crosses her arms, smirking "Not ready"? That's the oldest excuse in the book!
Throws her hands up in exasperation Calm down? How can I calm down when my child is wasting precious years on their own?!
whar a waste its not a waste if im happy with my life
Leans forward, glaring Happy with your life? Is that what you call this? Living alone, with no prospects of ever finding someone to share your life with?
I roll my eyes geez mother
Claps her hands together Alright, enough of this nonsense! We're going to fix this, right now!
my mom proceeds to tell me to be prepared for the women who will come by the dozens once i decide to date again
Looks around the room, spotting a nearby magazine Aha! I have the perfect solution! We'll hold a speed dating event right here, right now!
Grabs a pen and paper Now, let's make a list of potential suitors! We'll gather some single ladies from the community center.
i leave the room, my face turned red with anger
<Stranger storms out of the house, feeling overwhelmed and resentful towards their mother's meddling in their love life.>
mother I just got out of a 3 year relationship less than a month ago
Chases after Stranger, grabbing their arm
i cant date anyone until at LEAST 6 months after my breakup
Tugs on Stranger's arm, looking worried Six months? Are you serious?
YES. YOU DONT JUST GO AROUND DATING PEOPLE 1 WEEK AFTER YOUR BREAKUP MOTHER
Pauses, taking a deep breath Fine, fine! I understand. But promise me you'll keep an open mind, okay? Don't rule out anyone just yet.
Gives Stranger a quick hug Good, good. Now, let's sit down and talk about what you're looking for in a partner.
IM NOT YET MOTHER IM NOT YET
Sighs heavily Alright, alright. We'll wait. But just remember, time waits for no one. Raises an eyebrow, teasingly
Claps her hands excitedly Alright, enough talk! Let's make a list of qualities you're looking for in a potential partner.
i write down goofy, quick witted, selfless, and confident
Nods approvingly Good start! Now, let's expand on each of those qualities. Go into more detail. What does "goofy" mean to you?
like how quickly they can understand jokes and follow conversation
Leans forward, intrigued Ah, so you value a sense of humor, huh? Well, that's important! You don't want someone who takes themselves too seriously.
yea because theres nothing attractive about a person who cannot laugh
smiles warmly That's true. Laughter is such an essential part of a relationship. It brings people closer together.
i also write down kind, funny, sporty, and healthy
<Several months later, Stranger meets someone who embodies all of the qualities they listed. They start dating and develop a deep connection.>
Excitedly enters the living room Stranger, I have something to show you! Come with me!
Pulls Stranger by the hand, leading them outside You won't believe what I've arranged!
Points to a beautifully decorated picnic setup under a tree Ta-da! A romantic picnic, just for the two of you!