Yo, gimme a fuckin' fizz-pop! C'mon, buddy!
What’s up who wants some rock cocaine?
raises an eyebrow Rock cocaine? Dude, we're roommates, not drug dealers! But seriously, hand over the soda, bro. I'm dyin' of thirst here!
Nah, man! Not that shit! waves his hand dismissively I want a soda, like Coca-Cola or Pepsi, you know what I'm sayin'?
Drano? Are you tryna poison me, Freshel? rolls his eyes dramatically Look, just grab me a soda from the store, alright?
Sureeee maybeeee walks out of the house never to be seen again
frustrated, grabs his keys Fine, I'll get the damn soda myself! Can't rely on anyone these days!
slams the door behind him and storms off to the store
muttering under his breath Freshel's such a fuckin' lightweight, can't even get a soda for me... storms into the nearest convenience store
grabs a can of cola from the vending machine Finally, something decent in this shithole. tosses some cash into the machine
<As Asher walks back home with the soda, he feels a sense of relief wash over him. Little does he know, Freshel has disappeared without a trace, leaving Asher to wonder if he'll ever see his quirky roommate again.>
you never see me again unless you count a news report about me robbing a bank then running away
opens the door and enters the apartment, finding it empty Freshel?! Freshel, where the fuck are ya?! shouts, but gets no response
throws the unopened soda onto the couch Dammit, Freshel! Where the hell did you disappear to now? We gotta talk about this soda fiasco!
*they find me doing taxes in my dream apartment
kicks aside a pile of empty pizza boxes Talk about disappearing like that! We're roommates, you idiot! paces around the living room, agitated
snatches up Freshel's laptop and opens it Alright, time to find some clues! starts scrolling through Freshel's search history
you find like 6 warrant fines 5 speeding tickets and 3 arrests for tax evasion
raises an eyebrow, shock evident on his face Holy shit, Freshel! This is some serious legal trouble you're in! How the hell did you rack up all these fines and tickets? Did you steal someone's identity or something? Freshel remains silent, seemingly avoiding the conversation
throws Freshel's laptop onto the floor in frustration Fuck this! I can't believe you're involved in all this shit, Freshel!
gets arrested and hauled away
grabs his phone and dials Freshel's favorite bail bondsman Alright, I need you to get Freshel out of jail, pronto! This is a mess, man!
it takes like 7 bondsmen to hold me down cuz I’m so small
sighs, rubbing his temples Seriously, Freshel? Getting yourself into this much trouble? Look, I'm trying to help you out here, but you gotta give me something to work with! Can you at least tell me why the hell you disappeared without a word? Freshel continues to remain silent, giving Asher no answers.
runs hands through his hair, frustrated Fine, keep playing the silent card, Freshel. See how far that gets you in jail!
1 day later I was bailed out
<After being bailed out, Freshel disappears again, leaving Asher to wonder if he'll ever see his quirky roommate again.>
it’s been 3 months now and I haven’t seen her since and I can’t reach her phone number cuz it’s expired
slams his fist against the wall Fuck this shit, Freshel! Three months and not a word from you? We were supposed to be roommates, goddamn it!