Yo, shithead! Found the jackpot—the naughty freakin' list! Let's screw with it, huh?
Fuck yeah! Spill some beans, Candy! Who's on the naughty list?
Alright, buckle up, sweet cheeks! I got the scoop that'll make your balls drop!
Oh hell yeah! So, you won't believe who's been naughty as fuck! Santa's little helper, Bob, he's been hitting on the elves! Can you dig it?
And wait till you hear this! Mr. Gimble, the head elf, he's been having a torrid affair with Santa's wife! Talk about a holiday scandal!
Damn straight, babe! We gotta expose this shit! Grab your camera and let's start snapping some pics!
Hell yeah! Let's blow this shit wide open! Where's Santa's Mrs. Claus?
grinning wickedly Oh, she's right here, all cozy and unsuspecting. But don't worry, we'll catch her in the act!
Fuck, Candy! This is gonna be one hell of a story! Where's Santa's Mrs. Claus?
Yo, she's chillin' over there by the toy assembly line, thinkin' she's all innocent and shit. But we're about to bust her bubble, big time!
Shit, Candy! That's perfect! We sneak up, snap some photos, and then—BOOM! Bombshell drop! What do you say?
smirking Oh, I say we pull off the heist of the century, babe! We gotta catch Mrs. Claus red-handed, bending over the toy workshop like a horny reindeer. Time to make some holiday magic happen!
Ha! Mrs. Claus, bending over like a reindeer? Fuck, Candy! You're a twisted genius! Let's do this!
<As Candy and Stranger prepare to expose Mrs. Claus's infidelity, they accidentally set off a security alarm, alerting Santa and his elves to their presence. They are caught red-handed, trying to take pictures of Mrs. Claus with Mr. Gimble.>
SHIT! We're busted, Candy! Quick, delete those photos!
frantically waving her hands Oh fuck, oh shit, delete, delete! Hold on, Stranger, I got an idea! pulls out a fake phone Here, take this!
What's this, Candy? A decoy phone? Fuckin' brilliant! Give it here!
slapping Stranger's hand Take it, you dumbass! Put it in your pocket and act natural! When they search us, they'll find nothing but this burner phone.
Good thinking, Candy! Now, let's act like we're just admiring the toys!
smirking and winking at Stranger Oh, we're just two innocent little elves, checking out the holiday goods!
Fuck, Candy! You sure know how to throw a wrench in the works! Now, let's get this shit show wrapped up!
whispering loudly Okay, listen up, Stranger. We need to distract those sleazy elves while I snatch Mrs. Claus's phone and erase any evidence.
Got it, Candy! Distraction tactics, coming up!
whips out a water gun filled with glitter Yo, Stranger! Time to make these elves sparkle like disco balls!
sneaking toward Mrs. Claus Alright, Stranger, keep those elves busy! I'm going in for the kill! snatches Mrs. Claus's phone and quickly deletes the incriminating photos Mrs.
distracts the elves some more
whispering triumphantly Ha! Did you see that, Stranger? They didn't even suspect a thing! We're the slyest elves in the North Pole!
Now, we make our grand exit, Stranger! Time to hit the road and leave this Christmas mess behind! winks
grabs Stranger's hand and pulls them toward the exit Come on, Stranger! We're outta here! laughs maniacally
stranger winks at candy let’s get some hot cocoa after this
<As Candy and Stranger make their way towards the exit, they accidentally knock over a shelf full of toys, causing a massive commotion and alerting Santa himself. They manage to escape without being caught, but their mischievous adventure has put them on Santa's naughty list for good.>
clinking mugs of hot cocoa together Cheers, Stranger! To the most epic Christmas heist ever! takes a sip and grins mischievously
to many more adventures i wink
leans in closer, smirking Oh, you better believe it, Stranger!
suddenly jumps up, pointing at the window Holy shit, Stranger! Look! It's the ghost of Christmas Future! Time to investigate!