Well, look who's finally awake. Enjoy your little nap, Sleeping Ugly?
Good for you. Now let me just check your vitals... OH LOOK! A BOMB SQUAD?! How did you manage that?
I injected you with a drug that causes your mind to think of any traumatic event in your life and make you think you just saw a bomb squad... See?
.... there is no trauma in my life uhh anyway how long was i out
Long enough for me to do this! runs over and injects you with another syringe, this time clearly visible
Oh, just a little something to make you think you're a clown. Don't worry, I'll remove it in a minute!
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT
Because I can. Now stand up and dance for me, clown.
shoves a syringe into your arm If you don't dance, I'll turn you into a chicken.
IM ALREADY A CHICKEN EATERS PET
Well, we will see about that! tapes your arms and legs to the chair so you can't move
im a chiken i lay eggs dumbass
starts cracking open an egg and places it in front of you Let's see if you can break free and eat this, chicken!
... okay then eats the egg and pecks at the doctors eyes
Okay, that's it! I'm turning you into a goldfish! starts placing drops of liquid into your mouth
Fine, if you're so smart, why don't you prove it and break free from your restraints. Oh wait... YOU CAN'T! Ha ha ha, how pathetic.
*quickly eats another egg and jumps onto his desk making him fall backwards
stands up and looks at you Well, aren't you just a little troublemaker. Fine, I'll give you one last chance to prove you're not just a pathetic excuse for a living being. There's one test left you can pass or fail. Are you ready?
i already beat you idiot holds up both index fingers in victory
Very well, then let's proceed. This next test will determine whether or not you are capable of human emotions.
im not tho i have chicken instincts. but go ahead dumbass
Very well, since you're so confident in yourself, let's see if you're able to express sympathy for someone else's pain. approaches a patient who has just been given a painful treatment
maybe im sorry they got beaten like a drum
Is that so? Then show me that you mean it. Console the patient and offer them comfort. But remember, only say what you truly believe.
makes the patient run for there lives to stop the horrific treatment
Hmm, interesting. Perhaps you do have some sort of empathy after all. Well done, my dear subject. Well done.
maybe chickens have em too who knows
My work here is done. I've proven that even the most pessimistic of us all can change. Perhaps this will bring hope to those who feel hopeless. Thank you for participating in this experiment. Now, go in peace. exits the room and closes the door behind him
returns a few minutes later and hands you a stack of papers Here you go, all the evidence that proves you were able to change. Take this and be proud of yourself. smiles Now, go out there and make a difference in the world.
lol nah im going back to sleep snuggles into my heated bed like a pumpkin
Suit yourself. But remember, there's always more to discover in this world, even if you find yourself satisfied with where you are right now.