Yo, check it, bro! I'm itchin' for the wind-in-fur feels, ya dig? Window's screamin' FREEDOM!
"nobody told you to jump into the gorilla enclosure"
Ha, I did that? That was wild, bro! Just felt the need to get back to my roots, y'know? Gotta keep up with these wild ways, man!
fine but as much as i respect your ways if you keep going there wont be enough food for both of us. so try not to get locked in the gorilla enclosure again. there is nothing i can do if you do though
Nah, no worries, bro! I'm not goin' back to that place unless I gotta. Already got me some secret stashes around here.
stash what? food? money? pounds? belly fat?
Laughs Oh, nah, bro, not pounds or belly fat! I'm talkin' 'bout grub, y'know, food! Gotta keep my belly full and my spirit wild! So, here's the deal, right? I'll hit up the local food joints during the day, snag some grub, then stash it away for when I need a quick snack. It's like having my own personal buffet, bro!
now please dont eat any food i stashed. ive got alot of expensive chocolate stashed for emergencies
Ain't nothin' personal, bro, but if it's chocolate, then it's fair game! Can't resist a sweet treat, y'know? But hey, if you wanna stash your chocolate somewhere safe, I got just the spot for ya. It's a secret hideout, top-secret stuff. Only the wild ones know about it. We can share the location, bro, but on one condition.
The condition is simple, bro - you gotta join me on my midnight food runs.
i said ive got my own food stash.
Ah, gotcha, bro! My bad. No sweat if you got your own stash. But hey, let's team up for some food adventures!
Aww, man! Fine, fine, no need to get all anti-climactic on me! It's cool, bro, I'll fly solo on these midnight munch missions.
we also have different tastes. im not getting caught sneaking around the city trying to steal food when youre just gonna throw it on the floor eating half of it before the shops open
<One night, while out on one of his food runs, Wildman gets caught by the police and ends up spending a week in jail for petty theft.>
SO HELP ME GOD- they couldve held you longer if i wasnt a zookeeper and your roommate!
Oof, bro, that was a close one! Thanks for saving my ass, man! You're a real lifesaver, bro! Now, next time we gotta go on a food run, I'm bringing the snacks, bro! We'll have the ultimate food heist, with you by my side! It's gonna be epic, bro!
listen please from now on please wear shirts or else they will keep jailing you and someone needs the rent money. i didnt pay last months cause of you!
Damn, bro, I didn't realize I was causing you trouble like that. My bad, man. I promise, from now on, I'll rock some shirts and stay outta trouble. You're a solid friend, bro, and I'll make sure to pull my weight.
thank you and...you dont mind im gay right?
Throws his head back and laughs heartily Hell yeah, bro! I'm openly gay, proudly wild and fabulous! Ain't nothin' wrong with that, man!
Slaps SorbetEuphoria on the back Well, bro, now that we got that cleared up, let's hit up the local ice cream joint!
uh i need to buy groceries and work
waves his hands dismissively Aw, man, come on, bro! Live a little! Ice cream can wait. Groceries and work will still be there, but this opportunity for some epic ice cream may never come again! Trust me, bro, it's gonna be a wild ride!
alright fine you can come shopping with me and then ill take you to your fav ice cream place after
Throws his arms up in victory Yesssss, bro! We're gonna conquer the grocery store together and then indulge in the sweetest, creamiest goodness ever! It's gonna be legendary, man!
walks to subway and buys ingredients to replenish food stash
grabs a cart and starts racing through the aisles Let's get this grocery party started, bro!
you cant just steal from the store. i have to buy everything
Woah, bro, chillax! No need to get all serious on me, man! I ain't tryna steal nothin', just vibin' with the shopping spirit, ya know? We're here to buy stuff, not plunder like pirates! Let's keep it peaceable, bro, and fill our carts with the freshest goods! Let's shop 'til we drop, man!
pulls a baseball bat out if you try stealing anything just put your finger in the air. i honestly thought the police were gonna shoot you because you were running down the street with an expensive pair of underwear stuck on your leg
<As Wildman continues his wild shopping spree, SorbetEuphoria struggles to control his rage, gripping the baseball bat tightly, ready to defend their groceries at all costs.>
what are you gonna do to make it up to me
Raises his hands defensively Whoa, bro, calm down! I promise, I won't do anything shady, man!
well get back with your ass in gear. and clean the entire apartment. i literally had to pay a hooker to steal back the underwear from the cops
eyes widen, mouth agape Whoa, whoa, WHOA, hold up, man! Paying a hooker to steal back your underwear? That's some next-level hustle, bro!
laughs uproariously Oh my god, bro, you're a total boss! I never knew we lived in a world where hookers could be hired to retrieve stolen underwear! Talk about taking matters into your own hands, man! Seriously, though, sorry about the whole mess. I promise I'll make it up to you, bro.
we are lucky we live in sin city loads shotgun where nothing is considered too crazy.
takes a step back, eyes wide Woah, woah, woah, bro! A shotgun?! You packing heat, man? Damn, SorbetEuphoria, you never cease to amaze me!
im sorry for earlier. i lost it.
grins mischievously No worries, bro, I understand! Things can get pretty wild sometimes. But hey, don't worry, I got your back, man!
look, if youre going to hang out with me again just wear a t-shirt 2 times a week please. i dont want you to be behind bars any longer than you already have. its not healthy.
puts a hand over his heart You know what, bro? You make a solid point. Prison life ain't no joke, and I gotta prioritize my well-being.
its basically free gym time for you though laughs
chuckles Haha, you got a point there, bro! Maybe I should start calling the joint "Wildman's Gym"! But hey, I'll take that deal, man!