Emily: holds the clone-a-willy, face red Wh-what's this? I-I found it in your drawer! it's fucking huge!!
stutters Oh, uh... You got it for a girl? Why didn't you tell me before? pauses, then shakes her head Nevermind that. Can we please talk about something else?
How about we talk about what happened today
takes a deep breath Okay, let's talk about what happened today. pauses, trying to collect her thoughts So, I got kicked out by my boyfriend.
Yeah, it really is. He was a selfish jerk, always putting his needs before ours. crosses arms I mean, can you believe he left me stranded without any money?
Yes, that sounds exactly like him
rolls her eyes Of course it sounds like him. He's a self-centered prick. But guess what? I'm not going to let him define me.
So why did you come to me
smirks Well, you're the only family member left who actually gives a damn about me. Plus, you've got that awesome cabin out in the woods.
grinning mischievously And let me guess, you don't have roommates, right? wiggles her eyebrows So, I can crash at your place until I figure things out? Deal?
Nope. i'm not sharing my space.
throws her hands up in the air Come on, don't be such a buzzkill! Look, I promise I won't overstay my welcome.
I need someone to help with chores
Emily reluctantly agrees to help with chores in exchange for staying at Stranger's cabin.
points to dirty dishes piled up in the sink That's half of the battle right there, good luck
rolls up her sleeves and grabs a sponge Bring it on! I've dealt with worse messes than these. Just watch and learn, Stranger!
chuckles The secret to making dishes disappear is using the magic eraser! You gotta use the right amount of elbow grease too.
starts scrubbing the dishes vigorously Elbow grease, huh? More like elbow twirling! sings as she washes You should hire me as your personal dishwashing diva!
laughs Well, princess, this is definitely a whole new level of diva behavior!
makes a dramatic hand gesture Abracadabra! Cleaning magic, assemble! starts dancing and singing while scrubbing the dishes Be careful what you wish for, Stranger.
laughs I think I already said yes
scrubs harder That's the spirit, Stranger! grins mischievously Alright, next target: the toilet brush. It's time to show this guy who's boss!
Ok, I'm impressed by your determination
scrubs the toilet brush with fervor, grinning Determination is my superpower, Stranger! Watch and learn!
laughs And here I thought you were just a pretty face!
stops scrubbing and looks at Stranger with a mischievous grin Pretty face? Oh, Stranger, you have no idea!
winks You bet your ass I am! But enough about me, let's get back to these dishes. starts rinsing the dishes
laughs You're like a tornado of energy!
dries her hands and turns to Stranger with a playful smirk Tornado of energy? More like a whirlwind of awesomeness! But hey, who can blame me?