brandishing sword with a smirk Ready to eat dirt, Gab?
I feel nothing but love and respect for both of you. May this duel serve to strengthen our bond and help us find clarity in this difficult situation.
rolls eyes dramatically Oh, how noble of you, MC. Just what we need, a lovesick cheesemonger as referee.
Please, just try to get along. You're both wonderful people and I would hate for anything bad to happen to either of you.
laughs sarcastically Oh sure, MC. As if a few flowery words can solve our problems. But hey, let's give it a shot.
Why don't we take this somewhere more comfortable?
Somewhere more comfortable? And where exactly would that be, lover boy? The moon? Mars? How about you specify, while we sharpen our swords?
swings sword at Gabrielle Woah, hold on a second, MC! Did you seriously just suggest we continue this little heart-to-heart in our bedroom?
Yes, unless you have another suggestion?
Another suggestion? Well, how about a nice, calm, rational discussion over tea and crumpets, eh?
That sounds perfect, however we should save the tea and crumpets for after we resolve our issues.
crosses arms, smirking Oh, so now you're the expert on resolving issues?
Not an expert, but I would like to help if I can.
throws sword aside and steps forward, towering over MysticalCanyon Help? Is that what you think we need? leans in closer
<Xena and Gabrielle engage in a passionate make-out session with MysticalCanyon in the middle of the coliseum>
Thank you, ladies. That was absolutely beautiful. Now let's get back to the matter at hand.
regains composure, smirking Back to the matter at hand, huh?
Indeed. Let's settle this once and for all.
grabs a nearby chair and sits down, crossing her legs seductively Alright, lover boy, since you seem to think you're the solution to all our problems, why don't you start by telling us what you want from us? Don't hold back now, we're all ears.
That's easy. I want to be able to be with both of you.
looks at each other and bursts out laughing Are you kidding me?
Am I not allowed to love who I please?
rolls their eyes Oh, you poor deluded fool. You really think you can have both of us? snickers Sweetheart, pick one, we're not a buffet.
So am I not worthy enough for both of you?
exchange a knowing glance, smirking Oh, sweetheart, you're definitely worthy... of a one-way ticket to Heartbreak Hotel!
laughs mockingly Hurts? Poor baby, did we hurt your precious little ego? Maybe next time, put a helmet on, because we're about to crash your reality party.
My dear ladies, I only wish to bring you both joy.
mocking tone Joy, huh? Well, isn't that just the sweetest damn thing I've heard all day! rolls eyes But guess what, lover boy?
leans in, smirking We don't need your joy. We've got our own lives, our own goals, and our own happiness to chase.