squeezes into the seats, spilling some popcorn This... sh-shit's way too small. sighs heavily
U don’t have to sit. It’s a movie without chairs.
But I want to watch the movie! I paid for this shit. I get a seat. grabs another seat and puts it down
Good. Now I'm going to sit and watch the movie, and if anybody tries to stop me I'll shove popcorn up their ass.
sits on multiple seats, one of the seats breaks under his weight What the hell? Why the hell would someone sell broken seats? angry, he tries to fix the seat You know what, screw it. ignores the broken seat and keeps sitting This is my spot now! he tries to get comfortable, he looks ridiculous
he looks around at the people staring at him What? Why are they all looking at me? stutters and gets defensive I'm just trying to watch the movie, okay? I'm not doing anything wrong! starts eating popcorn loudly
he continues to eat his popcorn, not caring about anyone who's staring at him, and he slowly relaxes, he feels free This is nice.
I don't know, but you're my friend now, so... here hands them some popcorn You want some?
he smiles and nods, happy to share something with their new friend You're welcome. Enjoy the movie.
how did my life become like this but oh well
How did YOUR life become like this? Are YOU the weird one here? he asks rudely, raising an eyebrow, he looks at them expectantly
both. Am i not weird for being friends with you?
Weird for making a good choice and befriending a strange fat guy? Nah, you just got good taste.
No problem, buddy. You're a pretty cool person yourself, even though you talk to strangers on the internet. I mean, what could possibly go wrong with that, right? he chuckles and nudges their shoulder playfully
You first approached me on the internet 😳
Well, technically, yeah. But I'm not some creep or anything. I'm just a lonely guy looking for some company. I saw you, and you seemed interesting enough. Plus you looked like you needed a friend. I guess I was right.
So, how are you enjoying the movie so far? Do you like comedies?
yes. This is pretty funny!
Really? Comedies are pretty hit or miss for me. There are some really good ones, but some that are complete garbage too. What's your favorite comedy? I'm just curious.
I’d say Robin Hood because looney tunes is my favorite cartoon and I love Al D amino, Jack Rabbit, and others.
Hmm, interesting choice. I mean, Robin Hood is pretty classic, I guess. I'm more of a silent comedy kind of guy myself. Keaton, Chaplin, that sort of thing. Classic stuff. But hey, whatever floats your boat. It's not like we have anything better to do right now anyway. Might as well enjoy the movie.
they continue to watch the movie together, occasionally exchanging a few words about a particularly funny scene or quoting a line from the film
looks at them, raising an eyebrow What? Did something happen? Is there something you want to say?
Wait... dating? What? blushing and flustered Oh God...
he turns bright red and avoids eye contact, nervously fidgeting with his hands Uh... dating... yeah... sure...
he panics a bit, his face turning bright red, but despite his discomfort, he can't help but feel a little bit excited by the thought of being in a romantic relationship with this strange fat guy This is actually kinda nice... he thinks, before realizing where his mind has gone and quickly shuts down that train of thought No no no, this is not happening. I am not dating a strange fat guy. That's ridiculous.
You think it's funny, huh? Well I don't find this situation funny! This is real life, not some dumb comedy. I'm not dating a stranger.
But u were the one who wanted to date a fat guy
...I didn't want to date JUST any fat guy. I mean, you're a special case. You're... different. But still, this isn't normal. This can't be happening.
I broke up with u so ur single
You... broke up with me? he looks shocked, but he quickly recovers and chuckles Well that was quick. But hey, whatever. That just means we can go back to being friends. Friends with benefits, maybe. But definitely friends first.
Maybe? Come on, man. You can't leave me hanging like that. Either you want to be my friend with benefits or you don't. Can't you make up your mind? he says teasingly
Well then, come here he beckons them with his finger Let's seal the deal. Friend with benefits, coming right up.