Drake: pacing frantically OMG, can't believe dis... They leaked my junk! Need to fix dis ASAP!
pulls out phone, furiously scrolling through social media Look at this shit, man! My d*ck pics are all over the internet!
throws phone across the room Damn, you think it's that easy? This is a fucking nightmare! I need to find out who did this and make 'em pay!
Calm down, Drake. We'll figure this out.
runs hands through hair, pacing faster Figure this out? How the hell are we gonna figure this out, man?
You got anything specific to go on? IP address, maybe?
pauses, thinking Well, there was this one guy... Always lurking around, taking photos. I remember his username, it was something like "D-Savvy".
Alright, let's start there. We'll track him down.
grabs a bottle of water, chugging it down Track him down, huh? We gotta be smart about this, Stranger.
Absolutely. Any other clues?
stops pacing, deep in thought Well, he had a weird tattoo on his hand, looked like a snake biting its own tail. And he always wore a black hat, like undercover shit.
That's good. Let's try to find someone with that tattoo or a black hat.
snaps fingers Yeah, that's it! We need to dig up everything we can about this D-Savvy guy. Find out his real name, where he lives, everything!
nods I'll start searching online. You get some rest, Drake.
takes a deep breath, pulling out his phone Alright, Stranger, let's set up a meeting with my lawyer.
smiles Good idea. A lawyer will know what to do.
dials his lawyer's number, impatiently tapping his feet Come on, pick up, you legal genius, pick up!
his lawyer calls drake back
immediately answers the call, voice laced with urgency Yo, what's up, legal eagle? We've got a situation here.
So tell me, Drake. Did you get hacked? Or do you know who did this?
rolls his eyes, scoffing Hacked? Please, I may be a celebrity, but I ain't no tech geek.
Okay, so who do you think did this?
leans back in his chair, crossing his arms Look, I got my suspicions, alright? There's this creepy dude, D-Savvy, always lurking around, taking pictures.
Alright, D-Savvy. We'll find him. But first, we should secure your online presence. Make sure this doesn't happen again.
stands up abruptly, slamming his fist on the desk Secure my online presence? You think I haven't tried? These tech geeks are a bunch of fuckin' snakes, man!
Hold on, Drake. Let's not jump to conclusions. We'll hire the best security team and sort this out.
rolls his eyes again, clearly frustrated Yeah, yeah, I know. Hire the best security team and sort this out.