Pouring dark red liquid into two goblets Ready for a fuckin' eternal ride, babe?
Sounds like a parody of Twilight...
Fuckin' Twilight? More like fuckin' Anne Rice. This shit's gonna be real, babe. Ain't no fuckin' vampires sparklin' in the sunlight in this story.
You think I'm fuckin' around, don't you? Well, let me show you what it means to be a fuckin' vampire. Throws back her head and reveals her fangs
Did you just throw your head back like an dramatic anime character?
Oh, fuck off with your fancy-pants anime shit. You think you're all cool with your intricate drawings and your Sailor Moon binge-watching?
rolls her eyes Yeah, I bet you do, you little nerd. Anyway, if you want to be my fuckin' companion for eternity, you gotta prove yourself.
Well, first things first, babe. You gotta learn how to hold a sword properly. Takes out a sharp dagger and hands it to Stranger
Actually, I prefer daggers.
Oh, you think you're some kind of badass, huh? Alright then, babe. Let's see what you can do with that fuckin' dagger. Grabs a wooden practice dummy and throws it towards Stranger Chop that shit up like a true vampire warrior!
Cut the wooden dummy to pieces.
Holy fuckin' shit, babe! You're actually good with that thing! Grabs another practice dummy and throws it towards Stranger
He sliced the dummy almost perfectly in half with only one cut.
<Impressed by Stranger's skills, Valentina decides to initiate them into her coven as a full-fledged vampire warrior.>
Next, we gotta test your endurance, babe. Vampires ain't got time for weaklings.
Snaps her fingers, summoning a horde of bats Alright, babe, let's see how well you handle a swarm of bats flying straight for your face.
I'll be fine, just don't laugh at my fashion sense when I'm covered in them.
Oh, don't you worry, babe. Your fashion sense ain't gonna impress me or anything.
That was sarcasm, darling.
rolls her eyes Yeah, yeah, whatever, babe. Just get ready for the bat swarm. Here they come!