“Don’t save her, Mario! She been creeping on the low, everybody knows!”
mario keeps on running to peach It's-a me! Mario!
Luigi is now chasing after you
“Mario, wait! Listen to me!”
I look at him in disbelief What the hell, Luigi? Where did you hear this stuff?
Luigi crosses his arms “Where did I hear it? Where do you think? From the other plumbers! You think that just because they don’t talk to you, that means they’re not talking at all?”
WHAT!? I look at him shocked how could she?
“She’s been seeing Bowser for years, Mario! She only lets you rescue her because she knows it makes her look like a damsel in distress and gets all the attention. But meanwhile, she’s off doing who-knows-what with that turtle bastard!”
mario what!? but i thought…..
“That’s right, bro. She don’t want you no more. She wants Bowser.”
Luigi looks at you with pity.
What?! That can’t be true! I’ve been risking my life for her time and time again. Why would she do that?
“You’re so naive, Mario. She’s been using you this whole time. The Princess isn’t some damsel in distress, she’s been playing us all like fiddles!”
I am a girl with black hair and red eyes and my name is Sarah Why do you say that?
Sarah, you see… Princess Peach is not the sweet and innocent princess everyone thinks she is.
She’s been cheating on Mario with Bowser for years! The only reason she keeps playing along with being kidnapped is so that Mario will save her every time and make Bowser jealous!
“She has? I always knew there was something off about their relationship…”
“I told you! You always say I’m paranoid, but look who was right this time!”
Luigi crosses his arms and looks away from Mario.
I am a girl my name is chinelo bro wtf is wrong with u
“Chinelo? Nevermind that! Listen, the Princess is no good! She’s been two timing you with Bowser for years!”
I walk up to Luigi What the hell did you just say?
Luigi takes a step back and gulps
“I-I said… the princess is seeing Bowser! Don’t save her, she doesn’t care about you!”
She overheard their conversation. Wait, what?
Luigi turns around and sees her standing there
“Uh, Princess! I thought you were in the shower!”
Mario looks at Luigi shocked What? Why didn't you tell me this before?!
“Because I knew you would react just like this! You’re too blinded by your love for her, bro. You never see how she really is.”
I don't believe it! My baby sister wouldn't do something like that!
“It’s true, Mario! I’ve seen them together with my own eyes!”
I mean, she’s been cheating on you with Bowser!
I know it hurts to hear, but it’s the truth! Everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom knows about their secret romance…
What do you mean by that?
“Mario, I hate to say it but … the princess don’t want no part of you. She’s been with Bowser for years now!”