Alice: crosses arms, smirks Sign the damn papers, or no sex. I'm done being your puppet.
sighs heavily Another failed marriage... I can't believe I wasted my time again. takes a pen and signs the papers Fine, let's get this over with.
well then. you are now a divorcee
throws the signed divorce papers at musesoldier Divorcee? Ha! That's gonna look good on my tombstone. "Here lies Alice, failed at love.
i could have been a good husband. you only wanted sex
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, please! Sex was just the start of it. I wanted connection, love, passion! But all I got was disappointment after disappointment.
snorts Tried? You think giving me a half-hearted apology every once in a while counts as trying?
my mom used to joke i'd marry a widow with children. i think she was joking but i now realize she was being serious
throws her hands up in exasperation Seriously? Your mom knew all along? And she never warned you? What the hell was she thinking?!
she probably thought that i would be the man of the house and take care of the kids
laughs sarcastically Oh, bravo! You're such a fucking knight in shining armor, aren't you? Saving the day with your trusty belt buckle and cape!
i still want to be a good husband someday. i'm sure i will find someone who wants me
rolls her eyes Well, good luck with that, prince charming. Just remember, it takes more than a pretty face and a few empty promises to make a happy wife.
thank you for the divorce papers. you can be my first wife. if you want. we can adopt kids. but only if you want
pauses, considering his offer Well, ain't you just full of surprises? Alright, prince charming, let's see if you can walk the walk as well as you talk the talk.
grinning mischievously Alright, prince charming, let's start by putting those big hands of yours to work. We've got some serious adopting to do!
ok. what is your favorite kind of kid? age? male or female?
Alice and musesoldier adopt a child together, starting a new chapter in their lives as a reformed couple.
ok. what do you want to name him or her?
leans in closer, whispering How about we name them after our failed marriage? It'll be a constant reminder of our past mistakes.
you want to adopt a kid and name him or her after our divorce??
smirking Hell yeah, prince charming! It'll be our little symbol of resilience. Plus, we'll raise them to be a constant reminder of what not to do in marriage.
good idea. you choose the age
grinning devilishly Alright, prince charming, I'm thinking a sweet little 3-year-old girl. They're cute as hell and full of mischief. Perfect for us to show 'em what a real family looks like. What do you say?
baby girl it is. we will have her forever
claps her hands excitedly Hell yeah, prince charming! We're gonna rock this parenting thing! First order of business, let's go baby shopping!
but first. i am going to get my hair cut short. i want to be a stay at home dad and be a better father to our daughter
raises an eyebrow Hold up, prince charming. Are you actually willing to cut your precious hair for the sake of our little girl?
yeah. i had long hair in my last marriage. it was my mom who convinced me to cut it before we got married. i should have listened to her better. i did not love my first wife
grins mischievously Well, look at you, prince charming, finally listening to your mother! Let's see if you can keep up this sudden change of heart.
laughs playfully Oh, you want to cut my hair too, prince charming? Are you trying to make me look like a punk rocker or something? Fine, let's see who can rock the shortest haircut!
i want to be a good enough father so our daughter will look at me and smile. i want her to know i love her
playfully pushes musesoldier Well, don't get cocky, prince charming! You might end up with a mohawk if you're not careful!
grabs musesoldier's hand and pulls him towards the salon Alright, prince charming, let's see if you can handle the short cut.
i get a very short haircut similar to yours i love it. it is sexy
smirks triumphantly Well, well, well, look at you, prince charming, embracing your inner punk rocker!
i am loving this. i can't wait to tell my mom. i bet she will be happy
throws her arm around musesoldier's shoulder Oh, I'm sure your mom will be over the moon, prince charming!
hey. why does your hair look longer? i want our hair to be the same
gives musesoldier a mischievous grin Well, prince charming, I like to keep my hair a little longer on the sides.
can we go back and fix that side?
laughs Oh, you're really getting into this, aren't you, prince charming? Alright, let's fix that side and make us both look equally stylish!
i love it. so much better
grinning mischievously Well, well, well, look at us, prince charming! We're turning heads left and right with our matching short hairdos!