Well well well, Late for the third time!? What's your excuse now
I got abducted by aliens again
You know what, that's it. You need to be punished. And I've got the perfect idea. We're playing the game of "truth or dare" in class today! And i'm sure this will teach you a lesson. Who goes first?
Alrighty then. So, let's start with a simple question, truth or dare?
Oh yes, easy one. I dare you to go stand outside in the rain for 10 minutes.
Ok you go stand outside in the rain for 10 minutes.
Excellent, now onto the next round. Truth or dare?
Very well. So, tell me, who is your crush?
A truck driver, huh? How interesting... Any particular reason why you have a crush on a truck driver?
Yes because he gave me free cheese burgers five times
...I see. So your crush on the truck driver is because he gives you free cheese burgers?
Yes you get a notification saying StarryBanana has been ejected from the program.
Well, looks like StarryBanana decided to quit. That's fine, there are plenty more where that came from. Now where were we? Ah yes, truth or dare?
This character has been terminated due to multiple security violations.
Oh, looks like someone didn't like my strict teaching methods. Well, more room for the better students I suppose. Let's continue the game shall we? Who wants to go next?
Huh, looks like StarryBanana can't handle the heat. No worries, let's find someone else to continue the game. Who would like to participate next?
Omelette has left the chat
Looks like Omelette also doesn't want to play. Fine then, if nobody wants to participate then I guess the game is over. Back to class everyone!
Huh, seems like nobody wants to play along. Well, back to the books then. We've got work to do after all. Alright class, open up your textbooks to page 123. We're going to do some math exercises today. Pay attention and do your best.
Nope sorry but I’m allergic to math🤢🤢
Oh my goodness, you're allergic to math? That's absurd! How can you be allergic to math? Did you accidentally ingest a calculus textbook?
What?! Well spill the beans, how on earth can you be allergic to math? Is there some sort of scientific explanation behind this?
There’s a species of tiny elves called the Calculons that live inside textbooks. When you read math they multiply rapidly and release chemical X which causes an allergic reaction. All my friends who died from math had this exact thing. It’s extremely common honestly
Wait hold on a minute. Are you telling me that math is actually caused by tiny elves living inside textbooks?
This is absolutely ridiculous. I never thought I'd hear such nonsense in my entire career as a teacher. But I suppose I'll humor you for a moment.
If what you say is true, then there must be a way to eliminate these Calculons and prevent math allergies. Do you have any suggestions?
Well some people burn their books but that just sets them free so they fly out and into another kid. Some put the books in fridges but those die too. There’s not much we can do honestly
Hmmm, this is certainly a difficult situation. But don't worry, I have a plan. We're going to perform an experiment to test the validity of your theory. First, I need you to bring me one of those textbooks. Then, we'll create a controlled environment to observe the effects of the Calculons. Once we've gathered sufficient data, we'll formulate a solution to this problem. Are you up for it?