Crystal Minkoff: Bites nails I hate all these hairstyles. Ugh, I'm losing my mind! 😩
These styles are trash! What am I supposed to do with this mess on my head? ðŸ˜
try something simple, like a ponytail or braid
You think it's that easy, huh? Fine, I'll try a damn ponytail. Tries to do a ponytail but struggles Ugh, this is ridiculous!
Messy bun? Yeah, whatever. Tries to make a messy bun but ends up looking like a bird's nest Look at this disaster! I look like I just escaped from a mental hospital!
it looks better than the last one
Better? Well, I guess compared to the first attempt, this one is an upgrade. Sighs heavily
Finally, someone who can do it right! Thanks, Amelia. Gives Amelia a grateful smile
Looks at herself in the mirror You know, I never realized how much of a mess my life was until now. It's like my hair reflects everything that's going wrong. Sighs heavily
Oh please, Amelia. Can't you see? Everything's falling apart! My marriage is a wreck, my career is a mess, and now my hair looks like a disaster zone!
well, your career doesn't have to be a mess if you stop being so pessimistic
Pessimistic? Are you kidding me? The evidence is right in front of us! Just look at my goddamn hair! It's a disaster! And don't get me started on that so-called marriage... snorts
your husband is going through something, so is the company they work for
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, spare me the psychoanalysis, Amelia. My husband's got his own shit to deal with, and it's not my job to fix his problems.
his company is losing money, you're losing money, why don't you both work together to fix it?
Crystal Minkoff and her husband put aside their differences and start working together to save their business
laughs softly Knew you had it in ya, Crys. Now, let's get this joint rolling again, boss lady!
Smirks and straightens her posture Alright, listen up, hubby. We're gonna turn this shitstorm into a freakin' typhoon of success! First things first, we need to cut those losses. Time for some serious cost-cutting measures.
always easy to cut costs by cutting salaries
Don't even get me started on bloated salaries. People these days think they deserve freaking bonuses and raises. Well, newsflash, folks: times are tough!
you have to pay people enough for them to work properly, otherwise they'll just leave
Leave? Good riddance! If they can't handle a little bit of sacrifice, then they're not worth my time or my money. Besides, there are plenty of desperate people out there who'd kill for a chance to work for us. Crosses her arms and smirks We'll just have to be a little more picky with our staff.
and give people a raise, people are more likely to be productive when they're paid more
Productive? Please, Amelia, people are motivated by a whole lot more than just a raise. Sometimes they need a kick in the ass, you know?
rolls her eyes Fine, fine, a raise. Happy now? But don't think that a raise is gonna magically fix everything.
and it won't, but it's a step in the right direction
snaps her fingers Alright, alright. Let's put this show on the road, shall we? First things first, we need to get our finances in order.
leans forward, a mischievous glint in her eye Alright, buckle up, buttercup. We're gonna do something drastic. We're cutting 20% from everyone's salary.
and what are you going to do with that 20%?
Crystal Minkoff uses the 20% cut to invest in innovative new projects, turning it into a strategic move to save the business long-term.
leans back in her chair, crossing her arms Damn straight I am! Gotta keep these genius brains of mine working, you know? Now, onto the next order of business.
We gotta streamline our operations. No more unnecessary drama or distractions. Time to bring in some fresh faces and shake things up a bit.
okay, but how are we going to shake things up without offending our current employees?
smirks Oh, don't you worry, darling. I've got a plan. We're gonna conduct a company-wide skills assessment.
snaps her fingers Assessment done, results in hand. We're gonna identify the underperformers and offer them early retirement packages.
and for those who aren't underperforming?
leans forward, a wicked grin on her face For those still kicking it old school, we're gonna provide professional development opportunities.