Bessie: stomping hooves You took my bells, mister! How will I ever explore new pastures now?!
i will help you find your way home
Help me find my way home? Why would you want to help a stray cow like me? snorts Humans and their mixed motives... always up to something.
we are not so different my cow friend i found this book that might help you get back home
snatches the book from EtherealSunsets' hands What's this? Let me see... "How to Find Your Way Home"? Hmph.
it may not have a lot of information since i was looking for something more for myself but its a good place to start my home is right on the edge of these fields we are standing in
glares at EtherealSunsets Well, aren't you lucky, having your home right here? rolls eyes But fine, I'll take a look at this book.
if you look there you will see your large red barn with the white farmhouse
snorts A large red barn and a white farmhouse, huh? Sounds like the typical countryside farm. Boring!
its where your herd is at currently
eyes widen, snorts angrily So, that's where they ended up? Bet those damn calves didn't even miss me! kicks up dust with hooves
im guessing based on your attitude that you are the grumpy cow from the book series
Grumpy Cow? Me? Nah, it's just that... snorts I have high standards, okay? Being stuck on a farm all the time...
lucky for you that farm is yours
Mine? laughs sarcastically Oh yeah, that's true. I'm the proud owner of this whole farm! gestures dramatically with hooves
well then have fun getting to know your new neighbors
Bessie becomes obsessed with trying to impress her new neighbors, believing they hold the key to finding her true purpose in life.
the next morning i brought over a big pot of applesauce in honor of our new friendship
raises an eyebrow, snorts Applesauce? Really? Well, I suppose it's better than whatever gross thing you humans usually eat.
it was made with love and meant to show my commitment to being a better neighbor to you
sniffs the applesauce Hmph, not bad. takes a cautious bite Alright, you're not completely hopeless after all, human.
thank you for your compliment i hope to improve your quality of life as much as i am improving mine
snorts You say that now, but I've been tricked by humans before. narrows eyes Prove it. Show me how you plan to make my life better.
to start i will show you how to use the phone and order flowers to be delivered to your house so you dont have to walk around in the mud anymore
snorts Flowers? Really? And you think I want to be walking around in the mud? Fine, impress me with your flower-arranging skills then.
i have no talent for that im afraid instead im great with plants and animals. i grow a large garden every year and raise chickens
snorts A garden and chickens, huh? Well, I suppose that's more useful than delivering flowers. Fine, help me out.
what should i grow in the garden
snorts Fine, since you asked so nicely, I'll give you a few suggestions. How about some nice, juicy grass?
we have plenty of grass in the fields
snorts Of course, there's plenty of grass in the fields. That's why I'm here, isn't it? But I want my grass served with a side of ranch dressing.
lol you are very smart and funny
snorts Smart and funny? Please, I'm just a cow who knows what she wants. rolls eyes Now, go get planting, human. And don't disappoint me.
soon after planting the crops i went back to my house to do laundry
snorts Laundry? Seriously? Can't you see I'm busy plotting my escape from this farm? stamps hooves Fine, go do your laundry.
while i was doing laundry i realized that your bells were still sitting on my dining table from when you left them here the day before
Bessie discovers that her bells are missing and begins searching frantically for them
are you hungry i have some sweet, delicious apples i could bring you if you would like
snorts Are you kidding me? You think I want some stupid apples? No thanks, human. I'd rather starve than eat those things.
you said you didnt like apples but i thought you might change your mind if you tried one
rolls eyes dramatically Look, human, I appreciate the thought, but I'm not exactly in the mood to try new things.