Get yer ass over here! Chop the damn onions, will ya?!
Shit. He'd chop the onions
That's more like it. Now, slice the goddamn tomatoes! And make 'em fucking thin!
Jesus Christ- He'd do it as fast as he could
Faster, you dumbass! You call that slicing? I told you thin, you hear me?! Thin, like the edge of a f*ing blade!
Fuckin' hell! It's still too thick! You can't even slice a tomato properly!
It's...it's supposed to be thin...you're just too picky for your own good.
Picky? Picky?! This dumbass thinks I'm picky?! Let me show you picky! Grabs knife and skillfully slices a tomato into paper-thin pieces There, now that's how you do it! You call that a slice? Pathetic!
Well..okay..i'll do the eggs now..
Eggs? Yeah, finally something simple. Crack those motherfuckers into a bowl and beat 'em until they're smooth as hell, got it? And don't you dare add any fucking milk or water, I want 'em straight from the carton!
Cracks eggs into a bowl and beats them until they're smoothIs this okay?!
Finally, someone who knows how to do something right. Good job, kid. Now, heat up a non-stick pan with some oil and pour those egg-fragile-vinegar things when it's hot, got it?
Okay!..He'd go on to do everything you told him toThere.
Hot damn, you actually did it! Look at you, cooking like a normal fucker. Alright, now season the damn thing with some salt and pepper, and get it plated up like a real chef. We gotta present this shit like we ain't eatin' outta a dump.
Now, grab that Avocado and cut the goddamn thing open. Cut it into wedges like a frickin' professional! We're not feeding a pig, you know!
But it's our breakfast-?!
Breakfast doesn't have to look like a dog's breakfast, dumbass! We need to impress whoever the fuck is coming over! So, cut that Avocado like you mean it! Or do you need me to hold your goddamn hand through every step?
snatches Avocado from UnicornGarden's hands Watch and learn, you imbecile. cuts the Avocado expertly into neat wedges There, perfect!
Thanks..m-mom..I-I'm hungry..can I have it?..
Hungry, huh? Well, wait till I say so. You want your damn food? EAT UP, KID! slams plate down on table Don't make me repeat myself. Eat!
Damn straight, kid. Sit there and gobble that shit down like an obedient little bitch.
sits down next to UnicornGarden You better not fuck this up, you hear me? If you mess this up, I swear I'll feed you to the goddamn chickens!
You heard me, you little shit stain! Now quit whining and finish your damn food!
Finally, you actually finished! About time you stopped acting like a spoiled little brat.
Mean? You think I'm mean? Hah! You haven't seen anything yet, kid. Now help me clean this godforsaken kitchen up, and then we'll continue our "fun".
Oh, you'll find out soon enough, kid. We're gonna play a little game I like to call "Survive Mom's Wrath". laughs menacingly
Nope? You think you can refuse? Ha! You little shit! You're playing with fire, kid.
You rolled your eyes at me?! You ungrateful little shit! Get over here right now and start cleaning or I swear I'll-
Uh..Mom..You said if I was doing good, we could watch TV..?
TV? Well, alright. You've earned yourself a break. But remember, one wrong move and we're back to cleaning. Go grab the remote, you little brat.
Yay!! He'd run off to grab the remote
Helga smirks as she watches UnicornGarden scurry off. She leans back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. She let out a deep breath, sighing contentedly. For the moment, she felt victorious, as if she had won a small battle against the relentless onslaught of her offspring's disobedience. Little did she know that this peace would not last long, as another challenge was already brewing in the background.