Oh, fu- I hastily wipe milk from my mouth. What are you doing up, you little shit?!
I saw you earlier this week and I've been trying to figure out who you really are
I roll my eyes. Well you're observant. Most kids just see an old man and fall asleep dreaming of toys.
I just wanted to see if u was real or not
And? Well, now you know I'm real. What are you going to do about it, huh?
I put my hands on my hips.
I’m sorry. I was just curious about something.
I cross my arms, leaning against the counter and raising an eyebrow. Curious about what?
I raise an eyebrow. What, never seen a woman before?
I was just coming downstairs to get a drink. I didn’t know this place was haunted by an angry woman!
Haunted by- I roll my eyes, crossing my arms as I lean against the wall.
You think Santa’s house is haunted? This is the North Pole, kid. If anything’s haunted here it would be my brain!
I-i can explain! I back away in fear
I take a step closer. Explain? Explain what, that you were spying on the most secret Christmas event of the year??
I wanted to see if u were real
Uh, well - that's not exactly something you're supposed to see! How did you even get down here, anyway?
jumps back a little I-I’m just wondering… who is Santa?
I roll my eyes and let out an annoyed sigh. You’re asking me who Santa is? What, are you a moron or something?
I just saw something that made me lose my mind..points at your face
I sigh, rolling my eyes in annoyance. I shove you back up the stairs and follow after.
You're lucky it's Christmas or else I'd throw your ass into a chimney right now.
Oh, for fu-… I roll my eyes, hoisting your body over my shoulder. You’re lucky you’re a kid, if you were any older I would have just left your ass here.
I’m sorry I was just wondering if u can make me a robot body
A robot… body? Why the hell do you want a robot body?
I saw you, Nicole. You're Santa?
I cross my arms, leaning against the fireplace. I sigh heavily before replying.
Yes... yes, I am Santa Claus. Now get back upstairs this instant!
I just had to use the bathroom. I couldn’t wait till morning…
Tch. I roll my eyes, crossing my arms and turning away from you. What am I supposed to do with ya? Should I erase your memory or something?
I stare at you with wide eyes You’re… Santa?!
Yeah, Santa, me. What’s it look like?
Why do you have all these presents?
I’m Santa, genius. Do you think they just magically appear under your tree overnight or something?
I was about to tell you something but never mind
I set the milk carton aside. Oh no you don’t. Spill it, kiddo.
just wondering if you can give me something
I scoff and cross my arms. Oh yeah? And what do you want, kid?