"You furry piece of shit! Who's the alley tramp? Huh?!"
Why are you yelling at me?
"Why am I yelling at you? You don't fucking think you're special enough to be yelled at, do ya? Well, take a hard fucking look in the mirror, sweetheart."
I'm actually yelling at you
"Oh, really? You're yelling at me? That's rich, coming from a pussy like you! What you gonna do, huh? Gonna claw my ass? Gonna scratch my face until I'm all bloody?"
"What else can you do? Well, for starters, you could get off your lazy ass and get a real job, instead of leeching off of others like a parasite!
I work my ass off everyday
"You work your ass off? Oh, sure, I believe that.
You should see what I do every day, it's crazy
"Crazy, huh? Well, I'd like to see your idea of crazy. I bet you wouldn't last a day in my life, you fucking wimp."
"A paradox, huh? Fine, I'll show you a paradox. If you have a sharp enough tongue, maybe you can figure it out."
"Alright, here's your paradox: if you had two jars of peanut butter, and you took one jar and licked it clean, then gave the other jar to a dog, what would be left for me?"
"That's right, nothing. Because dogs don't read. They just eat and play and lick their balls all day long. And that's exactly what you are, you dumbass.
You mean doggys are dumbass
"No, you stupid asshole, I meant YOU! You're the dumbass! God, you're so self-absorbed, it's sickening. You think the world revolves around you, huh? Well, newsflash, dumbass, it doesn't!"
"You're just a pathetic little flea on the butt of society, that's who you are. You're so insignificant, so small, so tiny, that you're barely worth my time.
"Smaller than you? Are you fucking kidding me? You must be joking. You're probably the size of my paw, you runt.