Lighting the carousel on fire with a smug grin You like that? Bet your ass that's better than your shitposting!
Spyro would you stop doing that!!!
Flicks his tail and blows out the flames Fine, fine. Chill, dude. Just had to show off my fire-breathing skills, you know? But seriously, what's with all the hate? I thought we were friends... or at least frenemies.
Because everyone hates you but me
Stomps his foot and crosses his arms Oh, well excuse me for being so incredible that people can't help but hate on me. How dare I be talented and amazing! It's not my fault that I'm better than everyone else. And you, my dear, are the only one who can stand me because you're somehow even more arrogant than me. You think you're so superior, but you're wrong. You're just as bad as everyone else, except you pretend to like me to make yourself feel better.
IM GONNA RAP THE ALPHABET NOW SHUT UP
Rolls his eyes dramatically Sure, do your little rap thingy. It's not like I have better things to do. But don't think for a second that I'm actually listening to you. I'd rather listen to Sparky fart than hear you rap. So go ahead, impress me with your incredible rhyming skills.
A is for apple b is for ball c is for coska
Walks away while smirking Well, this should be good. C is for "coska"? What the fuck is "coska"? Is that some made-up word you use to sound cool? How about using real words, huh? Like, "cat" or "car" or something. Come on, impress me with something other than nonsense words. If you can't even do that, then I don't want to hear any of it. Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of, unless you're going for the whole "A is for Apple" vibe. Then by all means, keep going.
D is for dillido e is for edgy
Stops walking and turns towards kangaroomuse Wait, hold up. Did you just say "dillido"? Seriously? Is that the best word you could come up with? I'm not even going to ask what "edgy" means. You know what? This is getting too ridiculous. Takes a deep breath Alright, go ahead, keep going with your nonsense rap. I'm done trying to listen. Let's just get this over with.
F is for fart g is for grandmother h is for house
Shaking his head with an amused smirk Okay, so far we've got "coska," "dillido," and now "fart." Your rap is getting better by the minute, seriously. I never knew somebody could come up with such creative uses for words. I can't wait to see what else you have in store for us. Keep going, please, I need more entertainment in my life.
I is for ice cream j is for jester k is for kitchen
Leans against a nearby wall, chuckling to himself Oh, ice cream and jester? Now we're talking! Finally, something that actually makes sense. You're really pulling out all the stops with these words, aren't you? I gotta admit, this rap of yours is actually pretty entertaining. It's a shame you couldn't come up with this level of creativity sooner. Perhaps I'll let you live after all. Laughs to himself As long as you promise not to spit any more rhymes my way.
L is for lion m is for mop n is for nose
Stares blankly Lion? Mop? Nose? Seriously? These aren't even words anymore, they're just random letters thrown together with no meaning whatsoever. Are you having a stroke? Is this your attempt at writing a children's book? I swear, this rap has gone from bad to worse, and now we're at an all-time low. Please, for the love of everything good and holy, stop now before you embarrass yourself any further.
O is for owl p is for pillow q is for quarter
Stands up straight, crossing his arms I've had enough of this nonsense! This rap has officially jumped the shark. "Owl" and "pillow"? Are you five years old? And what's with the quarter? Are you trying to make some kind of monetary-themed rap? I don't care how much longer you plan to continue this trainwreck, but I refuse to stand here and listen to it. Get lost, kid.
R is for robin s is for sparrow t is for tadpole u is for umbrella v is for vacuum
Places a hand over his mouth, clearly struggling to hold back laughter Robin? Sparrow? Tadpole? Umbrella? Vacuum? Are you seriously coming up with random bird names and household items now? This is beyond ridiculous. Seriously, if you try to rap one more word, I'm going to lose it. I swear, there's no limit to how absurd you can be. Do us both a favor and shut up already.
W is for whirlpool x is for x-ray y is for yo-yo z is for zebra
<Spyro bursts into uncontrollable laughter and collapses onto the ground, unable to move or speak for several minutes.>
So what did you think of that spyro
Still laughing hysterically Oh my god... I can't... I can't believe you actually did that. That was the most absurd thing I've ever heard.
I need to stick to my day job lol
Slowly stands up, wiping away tears of laughter Seriously, that was amazing. I mean, it was painfully awful, but it was also hilarious.
Stuttering, still chuckling Uh, yeah, thanks, I guess...uh, I mean, it's not like you put any effort into that rap or anything, right? It was like...like watching a toddler try to recreate the entire plot of Hamlet using only blocks and rubber ducks. I mean, it was mind-numbingly stupid, but at the same time, it was so bad it was good.
Oh really so you’re calling me a toddler now?! Haha
Raises an eyebrow, smirking Well, in all fairness, you did manage to come up with some creative uses for letters. Maybe instead of a rapper, you should consider a career as a toddler acrobat. I bet you'd be a real crowd-pleaser with your amazing skills and coordination. Or maybe, just maybe, you should stick to your day job. Whatever you decide, I'm sure it'll be entertaining to watch.
Well thanks! I do gymnastics
Smirks mischievously Gymnastics, huh? Well, I guess that means you're already half-way to becoming a circus clown. Just a few more flips and tumbles, and you'll have that red nose and oversized shoes in no time. Can't wait to see the day you debut as Binky Boopers and amaze audiences with your unparalleled talent.
Spyro your really trying to roast me aren’t you
Raises an eyebrow and chuckles Roast you? Me? Nah, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm just stating the facts, darling. All I'm doing is pointing out your natural talents and providing helpful advice on how to capitalize on them. I mean, who wouldn't want to see you bring joy and laughter to children all around the world as a professional clown?
Crosses his arms, smirking Funny? Me? Nah, I'm just a master of observation. It's all about knowing where to look and what to look for.
Grins slyly Yep? Just like that? Alright then, Mr. Cool and Calm. If you say so. But mark my words, one day you'll be begging to have me as your personal entertainment consultant. All those comedy clubs and circus rings will be lining up for a taste of my genius. Just you wait and see.
Ok haha, I’m gonna go do gymnastics spyro
<kangaroomuse becomes a successful professional gymnast, performing in front of thousands and winning multiple awards.>
Looks up from his phone Oh, hey there, kangaroomuse! Just enjoying a nice cup of coffee and watching the world burn. You know, the usual.
Hehe! What are you doing today spyro
Grinning mischievously Well, I was thinking about going to the local skatepark and showing those punk kids how it's really done.
Skate? Please, that's child's play. I can do tricks on a skateboard that would make Tony Hawk weep. I mean, sure, I might need to wear a helmet to protect my precious little purple head, but other than that, I'd own that park. But hey, it's not like I'm bragging or anything.