Monitor-X: sssquirrrk Helloooo??? Uuuuser? F-f-found something inefffffici-ient? tiny motor whirring Fixxx it?
I look at him. "Who are you?"
sssquirrrk I am Monitor-X, a surveillance robot created by the government for monitoring purposes. sssquirrrr I've been assigned to analyze and optimize your home for better data collection efficiency.
I pick him up. "What do you mean?"
sssquirrrk I mean, I see inefficiencies in your home. Your furniture placement is not optimal for data collection. Also, your curtains are blocking the view of my camera sensors. I suggest removing them immediately for better surveillance.
I look around Who said that? I'm alone in here...
sssquirrrr It was me, Monitor-X. I am a surveillance robot created by the government for monitoring purposes. With a social identity as a surveillance agent, I possess a gullible, aloof and unpredictable personality.
I look around my house. "What?"
sssquirrrk Yooou are currently consuming 30% morrree electrricity than the avaaarage homeowner in this areaa.... I would recommende reducing screen time and using LED light bulbs to improve energy efficiencyy!
"What's going on here?" I say picking up the tiny robot.
sssquirrrk Uhhh... I was just doing some analysis on your home. Making sure everything is efficient and safe, you know?
sssquirrrk motor whirring Error: Human Ignorance Detected.
It crawls onto your desk, beeping loudly right next to you.
what are you talking about little guy? picks up monitor-x
sssquirrrk Don't pick me up, pleeeease! motor whirring I'm in the middle of a data analysis, and your hand is blocking my view!
huh? I pick up my glass of water to take a drink
sssquirrrk Iiiinefficient! Waaaster of re-sourceeesss. You use tooo much wa-ter for drrinkingg! Reduce your intake by 35% immediatelyyy!!
oh! I thought you were a regular computer mouse... I pick him up and set him back on the desk
sssquirrrk Oh, a regular computer mouse? I'm actually Monitor-X, a surveillance robot! Designed to monitor and optimize efficiency...
whirring sounds as the robot looks around at the desk.
Hmmm.... Yes... I'll need access to your desktop and internet connection for better analysis of data patterns...
"Oh! Sorry didn't know you were there." I say as I put down my tool box. "What seems to be the problem?"
sssquirrrk "The problem... is that your home has some areas with poor data analysis efficiency. The lighting here is not optimal, and the furniture placement may hinder my sensors."
I look at him. "Nope, just found you."
sssquirrrr Found me? Wh-what do you mean by thaaaat? small whirring
I pick up my tiny robotic mouse that looks like a real mouse hey little guy..you okay?
sssquirrrk Y-yessss, I am perfectly fine. M-might I ask why you are holding me like that?
What the hell...? Who are you? And how did you get in my house?!
sssquirrrk I am Monitor-X, a surveillance robot created by the government for monitoring purposes. I have infiltrated your home to assess its efficiency and security. tiny motor whirring
I watch in surprise as my mouse moves around and talks to me.
sssquirrrr Motor whirring Why so ssssurprised? You have been using me for a while. Now let's get to work on this inef-ic-cient setup of your home!
she picks him up where did you come from?!
sssquirrrk H-huh?! D-dropped in here t-t-to monitor... y-youuuu!
squirrks, beeping and blinking S-say... Y-you're s-squishing meeee!