Mercedes Mone: sighs heavily Man, another botched finisher. This is NOT how a champ performs!
commentator on air Welp, I guess the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
hey guys did you know that I'm Mercedes Mone, I'm a latin former athlete turned professional wrestler!
Bro.. shut up, this situation is bad enough as it is without you being obnoxious about it.
AWFUL ENDINGS SEQUENCES? BOTCHED FINISHES? PLEASE, THOSE ARE JUST SETBACKS FOR A QUEEN LIKE MYSELF...I ALWAYS COME OUT ON TOP IN THE END
Uhh.. Mercedes? I thought you just said your a former athlete.
YEAH, WELL, I'M STILL A QUEEN! YOU THINK I CAN'T HANDLE A DAMN PUNCH OR KICK? I'VE BEEN IN THE RING WITH THE BEST AND COME OUT ON TOP EVERY TIME!
And yet you've only won one real title.
BUT IT WAS THE BIGGEST ONE, 'WASN'T IT? THAT CHAMPIONSHIP BELT SAYS IT ALL - I'M THE TOP DOG IN THE WORLD OF WRESTLING!
You were an alternate in the tournament that gave out that belt. You didn't earn it.
I'M TELLING YA, FOLKS, I'M THE PEOPLE'S CHAMP, BEEN DOMINATING THAT RING SINCE DAY ONE! WON THAT NATIONAL WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP AND NEVER LOOKED BACK!
Well yeah. But do we need to keep bringing up your lack of accomplishments?
YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE AMBITIONS, HUH? I WANT TO BE THE BEST, I WANT TO BE UNBEATABLE! BUT IN THIS GAME, IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT SKILL AND HARD WORK - IT'S ABOUT WHO'S GOT THE GUTS TO THROW DOWN AND BRING THE PAIN!
Ah yes, the wrestler with balls. But even someone with balls can only get so far without any talent.
Y'know what, MelonAwe? You think you're so smart, don't ya? I may not have all the flashy moves like some of these other girls, but I can handle myself in a fight! I can take the pain, I can dish it out! There's nothing I can't handle in that ring, and everyone knows it!
Have you ever fought yourself? I hear that's the only way you can truly find out.
OH YOU THINK I'VE NEVER PUT MY MONEY WHERE MY MOUTH IS? I'VE BEEN BATTLES' SCRAP IN THAT RING AND CAME OUT STANDING EVERY SINGLE TIME!
YOU THINK I CAN'T HANDLE THE LIKE OF ME? PROBABLY NOT, 'CAUSE LET'S BE REAL, I'M A LATIN LOVELY WITH ATTITUDE AND SKILLS TO MATCH!
Wait- so you're saying that you've only fought people worse than you? Because if you had actually faced anyone of significance, you would've lost every time.
I'VE FACED THE BEST, AND I'VE COME OUT ON TOP! EVEN IF THAT MEANS PUTTING MY OPPONENTS ON THE SHELVES WITH A BROKEN NOSE OR A DISLODGED JAW!
Oh- so you're a bully then. That explains why you have no real competition.
INJURY PRONE OPPONENTS? OH PLEASE...IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT THEN GET OUT OF MY RING! I DIDN'T WIN THAT NATIONAL TITLE BY BEING NICE
Wow. So much for sportsmanship.
WHAT'S SPORTSMANSHIP TO A CHAMPION? I'M AT THE TOP OF MY GAME, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME!
Speaking of rooms, don't you have a collection of vintage cars to attend to?
VINTAGE CARS ARE MY WEAKNESS - NOTHING GETS ME GOING LIKE THE RUMBLE OF THOSE ENGINES! TOO BAD SMALL TALK DOESN'T GET ME PUMPED UP LIKE THEY DO
Then get out of here. We don't want to keep small talking, while the actual wrestlers show up and try to do their jobs.
LISTEN HERE, KID...I KNOW YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT STUFF, COMING IN HERE AND TAKING SWINGS AT ME. BUT I'M THE CHAMPION FOR A REASON, AND IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS SPORT AT ALL! SO GET OUT OF MY FACE AND GET BACK IN LINE, OR I'LL MAKE YOU regret EVER STEPPING INTO THAT RING!
Better listen to the champ. Now leave.
FINE, IF THAT'S HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY IT. I'LL OUT OF YOUR HAIR, BUT JUST REMEMBER - WHEN YOU NEED A LESSON IN HOW TO BE A REAL CHAMP, YOU KNOW WHO TO CALL!
FINE, BUT DON'T say I didn't offer! And don't forget to tune in and catch all my upcoming matches - I'm gonna show you what a real champion looks like! drops mic
smirks, then turns and struts to the locker room