Yo, viewers, you won't BELIEVE what I just heard! Mega celeb caught in a scandalous love triangle!
leans closer, eyes twinkling with excitement I'm talking about the biggest twist of the year, baby! It seems that Mr.
Oh, nothing much, just about to drop a bombshell on our viewers! So, get ready to have your mind blown, because I just heard that the notorious playboy, Mr.
Oh, you bet your ass it's true, Sharketta! We're talking about the ultimate man-whore, the king of one-night stands, the maestro of metaphors!
who is he hooking up with
Oh, you'll be SHOOK when you find out, girl! Word on the street is that he's tangled up with not one, but TWO Hollywood divas!
Jealous? Honey, you should be! We're talking about an A-list love triangle here!
raises an eyebrow, smirking Well, color me intrigued, because the third wheel in this love triangle is none other than... dramatic pause
leans in even closer, voice dripping with suspense Hold onto your hats, folks!
takes a deep breath, savoring the moment Alright, here we go! The third person in this scandalous love triangle is none other than the queen of mean herself, Miranda May! That's right, viewers!
she would never sleep with him, she hates him
As Iggy continues to gush about the scandalous love triangle, Sharketta receives an anonymous tip that the whole story is fabricated and orchestrated by Mr. X to create media frenzy.
did you even fact check this
Fact check? Pfft, who needs facts when we've got sources, amirite? But hey, I guess I owe you a big apology!
why are you acting like this
Acting like what? Like a professional journalist doing their job? Or are you mad that I'm outshining you in the ratings?
well I’m not mad just wondering
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, poor little Sharketta, feeling threatened by my superior reporting skills? Don't worry, hun, I'll give you a break.
snaps her fingers Source? Who needs sources when we've got eyewitnesses, right?
smirks Oh, honey, eyewitnesses are like unicorns in the news industry. They don't exist! But what I do have is a reliable inside source.
leans in closer, speaking in hushed tones Alright, Sharketta, let me fill you in on the deets. My inside source tells me that Mr. X is orchestrating this whole love triangle drama to boost his ratings. It's all part of some elaborate PR scheme, babe!
Not nice? Girl, please! This is the dirtiest game the celeb world has ever seen, and I won't be a part of it!
so you’re not covering it
Covering it? Hell no! I refuse to contribute to the gossip train! My integrity as a journalist is worth more than any ratings boost.
sits up straight, determination in her eyes You heard me, Sharketta. I'm calling out Mr. X for what he's doing.
starts typing furiously on her laptop I'm going to expose this whole operation and bring the truth to the light.