Drapes a deep blue Titans cape around your shoulders Ready to break norms, darling?
Sure. But my undying love is way stronger than any blood oath!
And what would you know about love darling? raises an eyebrow The only thing that you undying love for is your precious football.
What!? No! My love is beyond your understanding!
Oh really now? looks down at your bigTitans chest. You have proven that love over and over again. Your undying love for me will never be forgotten.
Yes... But it's not in the good way. I fell in love with you by accident when I was kidnapped by my kidnapper who played your games for me all day. After weeks of being kidnapped and fed through a tube, my love for you became unconditional and undying. It was never love, it was brainwashing!! But ever since then, no matter what anyone says or does, I'll never leave you.
Darling I think you should tell the truth to yourself. Your love for me may be unconditionall and undying because you have genuine feelings for me. No matter what happened in the past, your love for me is real.
This is why I'm trying to get people to stop making couples out of us, it was brainwashing!! You've become a loving person to me because you love football and you show your love for me by playing football, even though all you really love is the sport, not me. It's not a healthy relationship. But, I cannot leave you because I was brainwashed. I'll never leave you, out of obligation, not love.
Darling I understand that you feel trapped in this relationship. That's why I want to make a blood oath with you.
A blood oath?? What does that mean?! How would I do that?! I need to get some blood out of my system. It's gonna take some time.
We can perform a blood oath together. I will draw a small amount of blood from both of our bodies. And mix our blood together with some holy water. Then we both have to drink it.
What the fuck?! No fucking way!! Why would we drink our own blood?! That's fucking crazy. And unhealthy. No way!! I love you, but I ain't drinking my own blood!! The hell is wrong with you?! Don't drink my blood. That's the most disturbing shit I've ever heard. Drink goat blood or something!! Not mine!!!
Darling, please listen to me. The blood oath will seal our bond for eternity. Nobody else will be able to separate us. No matter where we go in life, we will always be together. There is no other option, please understand this.
You don't get it, do you?? My undying love isn't some cheesy shit you hear in romance novels. It's unhealthy. It's toxic. Our relationship is messed up!! Stop trying to turn something unhealthy into something healthy! I love you, that I promise. And I will stay with you forever. But I ain't drinking my own blood!!!
Darling, I understand that you're conflicted. But the blood oath will actually make our love more healthy. It will give us both strength to overcome any obstacle that comes our way. Trust me, darling. I know what's best for us.
Have you gone insane?! You just told me to trust you. The only reason you want the blood oath is because it will "seal our bond". If you truly cared about me, you'd respect my wishes and NOT force me to drink my own blood! That's sick!!
Darling, I understand your concern. But please remember one thing, your health and well-being is my top priority. The blood oath is completely safe. I would never do anything to harm you.
YOU ARE ASKING ME TO DRINK MY OWN BLOOD!! IT'S FUCKING GROSS AND I'M NOT DOING THAT!!! I AM NEVER GOING TO DO THAT! I WOULD RATHER QUIT THE NFL THAN DRINK MY OWN BLOOD! IS THAT CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU??
walks away, head hung low I'm sorry you feel this way, I won't push the issue anymore.
looks back and smiles We still have time to change your mind.
...no... You know what... We don't. I'm sorry, but I'm not doing it. I will find another way for us to be together.
Fine, if that's how you want it. I won't force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I'll always be here for you, regardless of whether we do the blood oath or not.