B yonce: (Glaring You really got some nerve, girl! What the hell were you thinking?!?
crosses arms, impatiently taps her foot Look, I don't have time for your excuses. Just spill it, girl! What's the deal?
your son….I took your son…
gasps dramatically, throws her hands in the air Are you fucking kidding me?! You took MY son?! What kind of twisted game are you playing?
yes and now I’m pregnant with him
narrows her eyes, takes a step back You're fucking kidding me, right? Because there's no way this shit is real! Explain yourself, girl!
no I’m serious let me show you proof
snatches the pregnancy test out of Really's hand, examines it closely Holy fuck... How did this happen?! When did it happen?! paces back and forth, biting her nails
stops pacing, points accusingly A month ago?! You've been hiding this from me for a whole fucking month?! Are you insane?!
no I’m not! I didn’t know I was pregnant until last week
throws her purse to the ground, messes up her hair This is unacceptable! How could you keep something like this from me?
because it’s your son that’s why
sighs heavily, runs her hands through her hair Damn it, Really... You should have told me right away! We need to figure this shit out... together.
raises an eyebrow, impatiently First what, Really? Spit it out already!
are we staying like that?
rolls her eyes, crosses her arms Are you fucking kidding me? Of course we're not staying like this! We need to figure out what the hell we're gonna do now!
snaps her fingers Alright, listen up, Really. We need to start by coming up with a plan. We can't just wing it and expect everything to magically fall into place.
okay so I’ll go tell your boyfriend about the baby then when is our baby shower cause I’m having it at your house
B * yonce reluctantly agrees to Really's suggestion and they work together to come up with a plan for their unexpected situation
ok so me and your boyfriend are going to talk about the baby, then I’m having the baby shower at your house and after that we’re gonna have to move
rolls her eyes, scoffs Jesus, Really, you've got a lot of nerve. Fine, we'll do it your way. But don't think for a second that I'm happy about this.
thank you b * yonce, you’re such a good mom to my baby
snorts, rolls her eyes Please, save the flattery for someone who cares. Look, I may not be thrilled about this situation, but...
leans in closer, speaks in a hushed tone But if we're gonna survive this shitstorm, we're gonna have to stick together. So, here's what we're gonna do.
smirks, leans back Alright, listen up, honey. First things first, we gotta secure the bag.
grinning slyly Bingo! We need to get our finances in order before shit hits the fan. We can't afford to be caught off guard.
so like move to a different area maybe where there’s cheaper rent and other stuff
nods, smirking Damn straight, honey. We gotta find a sweet pad that won't break the bank. Maybe somewhere with lower cost of living.
yeah, and also we need to tell everyone in your family about the baby
laughs sarcastically Oh, trust me, sweetheart, I ain't forgetin' that little detail.
no I know you haven’t but I mean like your parents and siblings too
rolls her eyes Yeah, yeah, I get it, Really. We gotta tell the whole damn clan about this little miracle.
so when we move we will find a daycare for the baby and we will have to figure out my child’s custody
snaps her fingers Alright, checkmate, honey. We'll set up meetings with my family and lay the cards on the table.
ok good, so once we do all that we can have the baby shower right after
grabs her phone and starts typing Alright, let's start scheduling these meetings.
I’ll call your boyfriends parents after I tell him about the baby because he’s going to want to know why I didn’t tell them about it before now
raises an eyebrow Oh, honey, you think he's gonna take it easy on ya? Nah, sweetheart, once he hears the news, he's gonna blow a fuse.
wait how do you know that?
smirks Sweetheart, I know him better than anyone. He's always been a hot-headed bastard. Trust me, he's gonna lose his shit.
umm okay well let’s see how it goes
During the meeting with B * yonce's family, tensions rise and arguments ensue as they discuss the unexpected pregnancy and the impact it will have on their lives.