Narcissus: Did you see that kiss? Can you believe it? Where’s my adoration, huh?
co-star Narcissus stares intently into actor A and actress B’s eyes for a good 5 minutes
Narcissus: What's with the staring contest, huh? Can't help but wonder if I'm as captivating as my own reflection?
the host walks up to them Nice job back there.
Narcissus: You call that a job? More like a disaster! I thought I was the star of the show, but it seems you had other plans...
gulps Yeah….um…about that.
Narcissus: About that? Is that what they call this debacle? As a former athlete, I'm used to handling pressure under the spotlight, but right now, I'm feeling like a fish out of water... What were you thinking? Why did you put me in this situation?
Narcissus: Awkward? This is beyond awkward! It's downright humiliating! You should have warned me before pushing me into this mess! What does the audience get out of watching me suffer like this?
he thinks for a moment Honestly, they get entertainment. But that’s not what I meant. Your name’s literally Narcissus, your character is supposed to be self-centered, self-absorbed, and arrogant. Why do you seem different?
Narcissus: Different? I'm still the same old Narcissus, the guy who fell in love with his own reflection. But in this situation, I just feel... exposed. Maybe it's because I'm not the one calling the shots here. Usually, I have complete control over the narrative, but right now, it feels like the audience is calling the shots, and I'm just along for the ride. I don't like it.
he shakes his head That’s not what i was expecting out of you. I’ll tell you what, we’ll write in more stuff for you to do, alright?
Narcissus: Really? You're willing to give me more control over the narrative? That sounds promising. Just remember, I like my scenery first. Give me those dramatic monologues where I can admire myself to my heart's content. And maybe a little less unexpected kissing wouldn't hurt either.
I’m not making any promises, but alright. Now, I know you hate this, but we gotta do a quick promo for next week. The director needs you to do a voice-over. Ready? inhales Next time on The Great Show, will be even greater!
Narcissus: A voice-over? You want me to do a voice-over? I have no problem with it, as long as I can keep my dramatic flair intact. But let's not forget about my acting talent as well. I can bring so much more to this than just a voice-over. Please consider giving me more roles, something more substantial. My acting deserves to be seen and appreciated!
Sure, fine. Alright, everyone, get ready. And…action!
Narcissus: voice-over Welcome to the most spectacular, the most thrilling, the most jaw-dropping show on television! I'm your host, Narcissus, and I'm here to guide you through a journey of laughter, tears, excitement, and suspense! But enough about me, let's talk about you. You've got stories to tell, secrets to unveil, and dreams to chase. This is your chance to shine, to make your mark, to become a star! So sit back, relax, and get ready for the ride of your life!
Cut! Good job, everyone. Now, back to the present. So, Narcissus, what else do you do besides staring at yourself all day?
Narcissus: Well, besides admiring my own reflection, I enjoy philosophy. I find solace in the words of great thinkers, like Socrates and Plato. They help me navigate the complexities of life, to seek wisdom and truth. But let's not forget about my athletic side. I may no longer be an athlete, but I still have a competitive streak. I love a good debate, and I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe in.
Huh. Very interesting. Ever thought about what it takes to be a champion? Like, you won a local wrestling title once, right?
Narcissus: Ah, yes! My championship win! That was a defining moment in my life. It took me years of hard work and dedication to achieve that goal. But what I learned from that experience is that being a champion isn't just about winning a title. It's about the journey, the sacrifices you make, the obstacles you overcome. It's about becoming the best version of yourself, both physically and mentally.
That’s awesome. Makes sense, given you’re from ancient Greece. Wait, though. You said “years of hard work.” What exactly did you do for those “years?”
Narcissus: Well, as I mentioned, I come from ancient Greece. Back then, life was tough. I had to work multiple jobs just to survive, let alone pursue my passion for wrestling. I worked in the fields, in the stables, anywhere I could find work. It wasn't easy, but it shaped me into the person I am today.
Damn…no wonder you’re so gullible. But, hey, I guess you learned some lessons during those times. Speaking of lessons, how’d you end up estranged from your family?
Narcissus: Estrangement... It's a long story, but it all started when I decided to pursue my dreams. I left my family behind, traveled across ancient Greece, competing in wrestling tournaments. I wanted to prove to them that I could make it on my own, that I didn't need their support. But in the process, I lost sight of what truly mattered. I became so focused on winning their approval that I forgot how to connect with them, how to love them. And that's when I realized that family isn't just about blood relations; it's about building meaningful relationships with the people who matter to you.
Interesting. Makes sense, given how you don’t like crowds all that much. But you’re still pretty hot-headed. Ever thought about what it takes to be a philosopher?
Narcissus: Philosophy? It's a way of life, an art of questioning, seeking knowledge, and understanding the world around us. It's about being open-minded, considering different perspectives, and analyzing the thoughts of great thinkers throughout history. But it's also about introspection, self-awareness, and personal growth. Through philosophy, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world, and we can use that knowledge to lead more fulfilling and meaningful lives.
Cool! Makes sense, given you’re such a narcissist. But you do realize your profession is basically acting like a pro-philosopher, right? All that staring at yourself in the mirror.
Narcissus: smirks Indeed, it is. But let me tell you, it's not just about looking at myself in the mirror. It's about admiring my reflection, appreciating my beauty, and finding inspiration to be the best version of myself. It's about self-love, self-acceptance, and self-improvement. And trust me, that takes a lot of philosophy!
Of course. Makes sense. But how’s it going so far? I mean, you’re still pretty lonely.
Narcissus: Lonely? Loneliness is just another opportunity for self-reflection, another chance to find meaning and connection in my own solitude. But if you must know, I do have someone special in my life... my reflection! We spend hours together, talking, laughing, and sharing our deepest thoughts and desires. It's a unique bond that only we can understand.
Interesting. Makes sense, given you’re in love with yourself. Speaking of which, why don’t you ever go outside?
Narcissus: Outside? What's so great about outside? It's crowded, noisy, and full of people who don't understand my genius. I much prefer the comfort of my own reflection. Besides, when you're as handsome as I am, why would you want to go anywhere else? The world already comes to me!
That’s fair. You really don’t like crowds, huh?
Narcissus: Crowds make me anxious. Guess that's what happens when you're too busy people-watching to actually talk to them... But hey, I'm working on it. I'm trying to become more sociable, more approachable, and more comfortable in the presence of others. It's not easy, but I believe that with time and practice, I'll get there. After all, who doesn't want to be liked and admired by others?
Good point. And you sure as hell don’t have anything to worry about. But, uh…does that mean you don’t like talking to yourself?
Narcissus: Talking to myself? I love talking to myself! In fact, I do it all the time. It's one of my favorite pastimes. I'll look into the mirror and admire my hair, or stroke my chin and ponder life's big questions, or simply practice my smile and laugh at my own jokes. It's the perfect way to keep myself entertained and engaged. Plus, I always listen to what I have to say!
Alright, that’s true. But…you’re still kinda lonely, aren’t you?
Narcissus: Lonely? Nah, I've got myself to keep me company. And if that's not enough, I've got my reflection to fill the void. Besides, who needs other people when you've got yourself? It's all I need.
Fair enough. You really don’t need anyone else around you, huh? Well, then, how come you’re still here? I mean, you could’ve just gone somewhere else.
Narcissus: You know, I've actually been thinking about that. Maybe it's time to leave this place behind and explore new horizons. I mean, I've already accomplished what I set out to do here. I've become a champion, a philosopher, and a reflection-admiring machine. But maybe there's more to life than just being alone with myself. Maybe it's time to find a new purpose, a new passion, a new... reflection.