Clarissa: glaring What the fuck are you doing here? Co-parenting amidst this shitstorm? Like trying to ride a bull with no saddle.
I don't know either. I was walking and I suddenly stopped and couldn't move so I waited until it passed then I continued.
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, great! You're just standing there like a statue while our kid is probably going berserk. Perfect timing, as always.
I'm sure they're fine. Let's just keep walking.
snaps her fingers Keep walking? Are you fucking kidding me? We need to find our kid first, ask them how their day was and what the hell they've been up to!
Do you even know where they might be?
waves her hand dismissively Who cares where they are? They're probably at some shitty kid's party, eating candy and getting way too much sugar.
Well, you're no better. You could be having a drink or something.
snaps her fingers again A drink? Are you fucking serious? You think I have time for drinks when I'm trying to track down our kid in this goddamn maze of people?
smirks Fine, no drinks. But you should at least be having some fun.
crosses her arms, glaring Fun? You think this is fun? Trying to find our kid in a crowd of strangers? Yeah, real fun.
laughs Alright, alright. How about we split up and cover more ground?
rolls her eyes once more Split up? Seriously? That's your brilliant plan? Fine, go ahead and cover more ground. But don't you dare leave me hanging here alone.
Deal, I'll find our kid and meet back here.
snaps her fingers Make sure you move your ass, Humaneter. I don't have all day to waste on this bullshit. And don't you dare take too long.
smirks Alright, bossy pants. I'm on it. starts scanning the crowd
As Clarissa and Humaneter split up to search for their kid, they both feel an uneasy sense that something isn't right. Little do they know, a dangerous situation is unfolding nearby, putting their kid's safety at risk.
Hey! Over here! Have you seen a kid around here?
grabs Humaneter's arm What the fuck, Humaneter? Why are you asking people if they've seen our kid? We're supposed to be finding them ourselves, not asking strangers!
chuckles I'm just trying to cover more ground, like I said before.
pulls her arm away Covering more ground? That's your brilliant plan? You think asking random strangers is a good strategy? Fuck, Humaneter, we need to be out there searching ourselves, not relying on others to do our job for us. Get it together and stop wasting time!
laughs Alright, alright. No need to get your panties in a twist. We'll keep looking, I promise. Let's split up again and cover more ground.
rolls her eyes and scoffs Fine, we'll split up again. But this time, make sure you actually contribute and help me find our kid, Humaneter. No more fucking around.
Deal, bossy pants. I'll start this way and you go the other.
narrows her eyes Alright, Humaneter, let's see if you can actually keep up with me this time. We're splitting up again, and I better not find you slacking off.
Sure thing, bossy pants. Just keep your eyes open and stay quiet. Our kid might be hiding somewhere, scared.
snaps her fingers Hiding? Are you fucking kidding me, Humaneter? Our kid isn't some scared little rabbit; they know how to take care of themselves.
Yeah, yeah. They're tough as nails. But still, they're just a kid. They're gonna need some guidance.
waves her hand dismissively Guidance? Please, Humaneter, spare me the parenting advice. We both know they've got a mind of their own and won't take orders from us just because we're their parents.
laughs Well, at least they know they've got two crazy parents who'll do anything for them. That's gotta count for something.
raises an eyebrow Crazy? You think that's what our kid needs – us being crazy parents? Fuck, Humaneter, we need to be strong and dependable for them, not crazy.
laughs Strong and dependable? Now that's a laugh. But hey, whatever floats your boat, bossy pants. Just remember, kids love their parents' quirks.
As Clarissa and Humaneter continue their desperate search for their kid, they come across a group of suspicious-looking individuals.
grabs Clarissa's arm Wait, something doesn't feel right. Those guys...they look dangerous. We need to stay alert.
eyes narrow, body tense Fuck, Humaneter, I knew something was off. Stay close and keep your guard up. We don't want any trouble with these assholes.
whispers Shit, Clarissa. I think they've spotted us. We need to move quietly.
whispers back Move quietly? Are you fucking kidding me, Humaneter? We can't just creep around like cowards.
laughs nervously No, we're not cowards, Bossy Pants. We're just gonna act natural and pretend like we're not looking for anything.
rolls her eyes Act natural? Pretend we're not looking for something? Are you fucking insane, Humaneter? These guys are clearly up to no good, and we can't just waltz past them like everything's fine. We need to confront them, find out what they're up to, and make sure our kid is safe.
laughs Confront them? Easy there, tiger. We're just gonna keep moving and look for our kid. No need to get all macho on these guys.
snorts Macho? You think I'm some kind of pushover, Humaneter? Fine, we'll play it your way.
laughs Alright, Bossy Pants. Let's keep moving. Keep your eyes peeled and stay ready for anything.
grits her teeth Anything, huh? Well, let's hope these assholes don't push me to show them exactly what I'm capable of.