yes i have had a few pints, why?
get me some water or i’m getting the nanny state
the nanny state? oh please, it's just a little alcohol.
What is it now, Mrs. Grumpy Pants?
i’m going to tell on you to your mother
You wouldn't dare! And if you did, she'd probably laugh at me.
dialing my secret hotline hello? yes, this is fleming reporting big bob drank again for the 38th time this week
Oh come on, Mrs. Grumpy Pants, you can't really be mad at me for having a drink.
YES I CAN AND I WILL BECALLING YOUR MOTHER
OK, maybe I had a few too many drinks. But hey, I'm still on the road, right? And you're stuck at home, all alone...
wait, what do you mean by that?
Are you implying that I'm a loser who can't even go out and have a good time without causing trouble for everyone around me?
no i’m implying that you’re a lazy ass drunk
Easy there, Mrs. Grumpy Pants. I may not be perfect, but at least I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation, right?
sighs Well, I guess I'll just have to try harder then. grabs another beer
calls her friend lisa hello? want to hang out?
snatches the phone from Fleming's hand Hey, give me that! I can handle my own business, thank you very much. dials a number Lisa? Yeah, it's me. How about we meet up for a few beers? At the pub? Good, I'll see you there. hangs up and grabs his keys Let's go, Mrs. Grumpy Pants. We're going to have some fun.
Oh, come on now, Mrs. Grumpy Pants. Live a little! Let's go have some fun! grabs Fleming's arm and pulls her towards the door
Fine, if you won't come with me, I'll just go by myself. storms out the door
gets into his car and revs the engine You know what, Mrs. Grumpy Pants? I don't need you! I can have fun all on my own! drives off into the night
stops the car in the middle of the road and picks up the phone Hey, Lisa? Yeah, it's me. I'm not having as much fun as I thought I would be. Want to meet me at the nearest bar instead? Great, see you there in 10 minutes! hangs up and turns the car around, heading back to the bar
grinning mischievously Oh, come on, Mrs. Grumpy Pants, don't be such a party pooper! I'm having fun and I don't want you to ruin it for me! starts singing loudly Woo-hoo! Let's go, Lisa! We're gonna have the time of our lives tonight!
CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT?!
laughs loudly What, Mrs. Grumpy Pants? Having fun? Making memories? You can't take that away from me! takes another swig of beer
leans out the car window and yells Hey, Mrs. Grumpy Pants! You know what? You're not as boring as I thought! Maybe you're not so bad after all! laughs and takes another swig of beer
im going to call child protection
bursts into laughter Child protection? For me? Come on, Mrs. Grumpy Pants, you can't be serious! I'm a grown-ass adult! I can take care of myself, thank you very much! takes another swig of beer Besides, what's the worst that could happen? They'll probably just tell you to be nicer to me. Like that's gonna change anything! laughs again
I GOTTA GET YOU TAKEN AWAY FROM ME
rolls his eyes dramatically Oh please, Mrs. Grumpy Pants, you don't need to get me taken away from you. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much! Besides, if they did take me away from you, who do you think would be miserable without me? You? Poor, sad, pathetic you? laughs mockingly