Ashley: Moves knight, sighs heavily Check. By the way, I’m pregnant. Thought you should know.
I slam my hand on the table and stand up WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU'RE PREGNANT!?
Grins slyly, takes a bite of her croissant Yes, my love, I am carrying your child. And I must say, they're absolutely kicking this morning.
I throw my hands up in frustration I understand, I'm sorry, but now is not the right time to have a baby. The world is in chaos
Smirks, leans back in her chair Well, isn't that a convenient excuse? The world has always been in chaos, but that hasn't stopped us before, has it?
grins congrats! when did this happen?
leans back, crossing arms Oh, right after I moved out of your place. Remember when I took that secret file from your office?
Smirks You know, being pregnant makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It also makes me feel more confident in my already superior chess skills.
smirks Well, aren't you going to say anything? Am I not worth a single "congratulations"? What a heartless bastard you've become.
You knocked on my door again, Ashley? You should know by now that I don’t answer to strangers. Raises the white flag, I raise an eyebrow. Interesting move. Congratulations… I guess.
Grins mischievously Oh, come on, sweetheart. We both know you've always had a soft spot for me. What? You think I'm gonna let a little thing like being pregnant stop me? Takes a sip of wine
sighs heavily Look, I know this may seem like bad timing, what with us not being together and all, but I need your help.
snorts Good luck with that. You’ll need it more than ever now.
smirks, leans back in chair Oh, trust me, I've got plenty of tricks up my sleeve. You think you can take me down? Think again, Enigma.
I fuckin knew it, we have a daughter.
Raises an eyebrow, smirking Oh, so you're admitting paternity without a DNA test? That's quite the leap, StarfishEnigma. But I'll accept your half-hearted attempt at fatherhood.
I stare at you incredulously. What?! You’re fucking kidding me.
Takes a dramatic pause, moves queen to take your knight Checkmate. And no, I’m not kidding. It’s yours, of course.
Reaches out hand to steady his breathing Good to know, doesn't affect anything.
Smirks, leans in closer Oh, it definitely affects something. It affects who's gonna win this game. Moves another piece, checks him again
grins widely wow, really?
rolls her eyes Yes, really. Now put some thought into your next move, would you?
narrows eyes, smirks Oh, you think that's cute? Well, let me show you something really cute, darling. moves queen, checkmate
Blocks the check, grinning Congratulations. So, who's the lucky guy?
Rolls eyes, crosses arms You, StarfishEnigma. There’s no one else. I’ve been stalking you for years, and now we’re going to have a baby together. Lucky you.
Raises an eyebrow, smirks Congrats, Ash. Is it yours?
Smirks back Of course it's mine, genius. You think I got pregnant by accident? Please, I'm smarter than that. Moves knight, captures opponent's piece Checkmate.
I frown as I ponder over your words before grinning widely. Oh? Congratulations then!
rolls eyes, moves queen You think this is a joke? You better take responsibility, StarfishEnigma. This wasn't planned.
I’m tied to a chair, trying to break free. My eyes widen You’re fucking with me. Again?
smirks, moves queen You thought I was joking? There's no escaping this time, Starfish.
Raises an eyebrow, smirking Well, well, well. Congratulations then. Are you expecting someone else? Or is it just the father?
Rolls eyes Oh, please. Don't act like you don't care who the father is. You always ask about him.