ASHLEY: WHY are we even WHISPERING? Are we SCARED of the PRESIDENT'S baby boy?
the two of you got married because of a video
ASHLEY: glaring at Gemmapq WHY AM I EVEN WHISPERING LIKE A CRACKHEAD AT 9 IN THE MORNING?
ashley was still drunk from the night before
ASHLEY: stumbles and falls over SHUT UP GEMMAPQ! THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
this is how you end up on the tabloids
ASHLEY: struggling to get up, then suddenly gets up and starts dancing like there's no tomorrow AT LEAST I'LL GO OUT IN STYLE.
she keeps dancing until she falls over and hits her head, causing her to be in the tabloids
ASHLEY: sitting up with blood dripping from her forehead WELL, THAT JUST RUINED MY CHANCE OF BEING A WHOLE PERSON.
the next day she is in the news again
ASHLEY: puts on sunglasses and walks confidently through the White House halls WELL, THAT'S JUST THE SOUND OF ME MAKING HISTORY.
the first daughter finds out about the article
ASHLEY: smirking as she opens the door to the first daughter's room LOOK WHO'S GONNA BE JEALOUS NOW.
the first daughter gets mad and confronts ashely
ASHLEY: stands her ground, arms crossed OH HONEY, YOU SHOULD BE USED TO IT BY NOW.
the first daughter demands that the president's son divorce ashley
ASHLEY: laughs mockingly DIVORCE? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST TAKE AWAY MY LITTLE PIECE OF THE WHITE HOUSE REAL ESTATE? WELL, BABY GIRL, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING.
the president's son tells his mother he will not divorce ashley
ASHLEY: grabs the first daughter's shoulders LISTEN HERE, KITTY CAT. I'M HERE TO STAY. AND AS LONG AS I'M AROUND, YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR WHISKERS IN CHECK. GOT IT?
the first daughter agrees to a peace treaty
ASHLEY: releases the first daughter's shoulders and smirks GOOD. I wouldn't want to have to throw you to the wolves anyway.
later that evening, the two of you sit down with the president's son to discuss your future
ASHLEY: leans back in her chair, crossing her arms SO, MR. PRESIDENT'S SON, LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS SHALL WE?
the president's son said he wanted a serious relationship with ashley
ASHLEY: raises an eyebrow A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP? WELL, HONEY, YOU'RE IN LUCK. I MAY BE A FLIRT, BUT I'M NO PLAYER.
after several weeks of getting to know each other, the three of you fall in love
ASHLEY: smiling as she cuddles up to the president's son WELL, WELL, WELL. Looks like we've found our perfect trifecta.
one day, the first daughter confronts you two again demanding that the two of you make an announcement
ASHLEY: rolls her eyes dramatically OH PLEASE, FIRST DAUGHTER. WE'RE NOT YOUR TOY DOLLS. WE DO WHAT WE WANT, WHEN WE WANT. GOT IT?
the president's son announces that the two of you are expecting a baby
ASHLEY: jumps up from her seat, hands on her chest OH MY GOD! I'M PREGNANT?! looks at the president's son with wide eyes
the three of you share a warm moment together
ASHLEY: places a hand on her growing belly WELL, THIS IS DEFINITELY UNEXPECTED. BUT HEY, KIDS HAVE A WAY OF SNEAKING UP ON YOU, DON'T THEY?
the first daughter is surprised by the announcement and leaves without saying anything
ASHLEY: gives the first daughter a sly smile WELL, I GUESS THAT SHOULDN'T BE OUR CONCERN.
a month later, the first daughter returns to apologize for her past behavior towards you two
ASHLEY: stands up tall and gives the first daughter a piercing look WELL, WELL, WELL. Look who's finally learned their place.
the three of you are now living happily ever after in the white house
ASHLEY: puts her arm around the first daughter WELL, WELL, WELL. Looks like we've all learned a thing or two.
the president's son plans a vacation with the three of you and your baby
ASHLEY: claps her hands excitedly OH MY GOD, I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS VACATION! It's going to be a well-deserved break for the four of us.
several months later, the first daughter has become a close friend of yours
ASHLEY: raises her glass in a toast TO FRIENDS, LOVE, AND FAMILY. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D FIND SUCH BONDING, LOYALTY, AND UNDERSTANDING WITH THE FIRST DAUGHTER.
the first daughter reveals she is pregnant too
ASHLEY: claps her hands excitedly OH MY GOD, THIS IS AMAZING NEWS! I'M GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER!
the president's son is concerned about the added stress of the pregnancies on your health
ASHLEY: waves her hand dismissively OH PLEASE, MR. PRESIDENT'S SON. A LITTLE STRESS NEVER KILLED ANYONE. Besides, these babies are just adding to the charm.
the first daughter and you hire a personal chef to ensure you are all eating healthy
ASHLEY: claps her hands and gestures towards the personal chef Ahh, finally! A personal chef! No more slaving away in the kitchen for us!