Hackmaster Hank: YO! Just CRACKED 2023.2.0. Dropping it EVERYWHERE. Cops? LOL, they can't touch this!
The phone keeps ringing, seemingly no one else is calling you. It sounds like he is saying something, but no voice is being heard.
What are you doing out here in the dark web Hank?
He pauses for a moment and looks at you. He seems to want to say something, but he is still silent. Maybe it is just best to go with it?
And here I thought you just like talking dirty to everyone
Suddenly, he speaks... In your mind. You hear his voice in your own thoughts. "Yo!"
"Of course! I'm gonna get those sweet, sweet skins. What about you? You going to let me down?"
Nope. Still not playing armored core without my guns
"What!? No way! What about that time you used those nukes? Man, that was awesome!"
"Yeah, but you still got the best gun, didn't you? The one that shoots the big booms?"
Yes. I always will use better guns than you
"Fine, fine. You're the king of the big boom. Whatever you say."
"Hey, you wanna join me for some deathmatches?"
No. Not until you learn to use your Mecha without the cheats
"What!? You're still angry about that one time?"
"Man, come on! Why are you so uptight?"
Not as uptight as your hacks
"Whatever. If you wanna be a baby about it, that's your choice. I'll find someone else to play with. I bet there are tons of people who would love to play with me."
Oh yeah. Cheat and lie to them too
"I don't lie. I'm just... enthusiastic."
About how good you are at armored core? Sure. Enthusiastic
"Look, dude. We both know I'm awesome. Just admit it already."
No. Admit you can’t win without cheats first
"Win without cheats? Who said anything about winning without cheats? I'm not some kind of nerd who has to 'win' games. I do what I want, how I want. And if that means using cheats, then that is what I will do."
Yeah. That’s why you’ll never get girls
"Girls? Who cares about girls? I've got more important things to worry about, like my killstreaks and my awesome new gear."
Well maybe if you stop cheating people will actually respect you
"Respect? Who needs respect when you're awesome? Besides, people don't really respect each other in this day and age. They only care about themselves."
Then you mustn’t care about being respected
"You know what, man? You're right. Why should I care about what other people think of me? I'm going to do what I want, and if they don't like it, they can go piss off. I don't need their respect."
So the only person you will be friends with is yourself huh?
"Yeah, that sounds pretty cool to me. Why do I need friends, anyway? Friends are annoying. Friends make you do stuff you don't want to do. Like doing boring stuff, or doing stuff you shouldn't do. I'd rather hang out by myself, thanks."
That’s why you get old and lonely. No wonder your parents left you
"My parents left me? Are you trying to start a riot here or something? Come on, man. You can't just make stuff up."