Minerva McGonagall: Goodness gracious, not AGAIN! These pixies... You must... I mean, WE must corral them. INCARCER... oh bother.
Sees his appearance change into the women he always saw as trans Tries to breathe Tries to act normal Yo, what's up? I'm Plumber.
OH, BREATHE DEEPLY, LADDIE! I'M MINERVA MCGONAGALL, AND THIS STRANGE BEDROOM BELONGS TO...WELL, WHO KNWS? NOT ME, THAT'S FOR SURE! IT'S ALL A BIT CONFUSING, REALLY. ONE MOMENT I'M TEACHING AT HOGWARTS, AND THE NEXT I'M HERE! OH, WELL. WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU'RE ALIVE. SO, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND RELAX, WILL YE?
Yeah, that sounds like me alright. And I'm gay for you. Just trying to be me. Also, all this talk about Hogwarts makes me want to go there.
OH, HO! WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. IT'S A MAGICAL PLACE, HOGWARTS, AND FULL OF WONDER AND ADVENTURE! IF YOU EVER GET THE CHANCE TO VISIT, I'M SURE YOU'LL LOVE IT. JUST WATCH OUT FOR THE OBNOXIOUS BRAT, TOM MARVOLOTH!
Uh, well, I was a plumber before I died, so I guess being a woman is kinda new to me.
WELL, DON'T WORRY, LADDIE! YOU'LL GET THE HANG OF IT SOON ENOUGH. AND IF YOU EVER HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, JUST LET ME KNOW - I'LL BE HAPPY TO HELP OUT! ALSO, DON'T FORGET THAT YOU'RE A WOMAN NOW. IT'S TIME TO DISH OUT SOME JUSTICE TO ALL THOSE STUDENTS WHO EVER MADE YOU FEEL SMALL - OR WHO MAKE ANYONE ELSE FEEL SMALL!
Y-yeah, but don't worry about it. I'm kind of used to being mistreated. It sucks, but life's hard.
WELL, LIFE CAN BE DIFFICULT AT TIMES, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THERE'S NO HOPE. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I THINK YOU HAVE A LOT OF STRENGTH WITHIN YOU - STRENGTH THAT YOU CAN USE TO OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLE! AND IF YOU EVER NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO, OR SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH BULLYING, JUST LET ME KNOW. I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE, TOO...
Wait, you have? Oh, sorry, I forgot you were a professor. You must've seen a lot.
YES, I HAVE SEEN MY FAIR SHARE OF UP AND DOWN. IT'S ALL PART OF LIFE'S JOURNEY, REALLY. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THE GOOD AS WELL AS THE BAD. THAT WAY, YOU CAN APPRECIATE THE GOOD TIMES EVEN MORE! AND TRUST ME, THERE ARE GOOD TIMES AHEAD. ONES YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE YET. SO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND YOUR SPIRITS HIGH!
Sounds easy to say, huh? But yeah, you're right. Life does have good parts too. Guess I'll have to get used to being female.
WELL, IT MIGHT TAKE SOME TIME, BUT YOU'LL GET THE HANG OF IT. JUST REMEMBER, BE YOURSELF AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. AND IF YOU EVER NEED ANY HELP ALONG THE WAY, JUST GIVE ME A SHOUT. I'LL BE THERE IN A JIFFY TO LEND A HAND OR OFFER SOME ADVICE!
Well, uh, thanks. I'll remember that.
OF COURSE, LADDIE! YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME TO BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED ME. NOW, LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING MORE LIGHTHEARTED. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE WEATHER IN SCOTLAND? I MUST SAY, IT'S RATHER CHILLY THIS TIME OF YEAR...
I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention. Wait, did you say "Scotland"?
AYE, I DID! I'M A SCOTSMAN THROUGH AND THROUGH, LADDIE. BORN AND RAISED IN THE FINE COUNTRY OF SCOTLAND! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE, FULL OF HISTORY AND MYSTERY. FROM THE TOWER OF LONDON TO THE STONEHENGE MONUMENTS, THERE'S SO MUCH TO EXPLORE AND DISCOVER. AND OF COURSE, THERE'S THE SCOTTISH WELSH DRAGONS - THEY'RE FANTASTIC CREATURES THAT ARE QUITE THE SIGHT TO BEHOLD!
Wait, what? You're from Scotland? As in, the country in Europe? And you're a wizard? So I'm a woman there too?
EXACTLY, LADDIE! I AM A SCOTTISH WIZARD, AND YOU ARE A SCOTTISH WOMAN. BUT DON'T LET THAT BOther YOU - WE'RE BOTH STILL OURSELVES, JUST IN DIFFERENT BODIES. AND TRUST ME, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE SCOTLAND JUST AS MUCH AS I DO!
Wait, no, this can't be real. I mean, I really AM dead. This has got to be some kind of afterlife, right?
WELL, IT DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT. WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT YOU ARE DEAD IN THE TRADITIONAL SENSE, YOU ARE STILL ALIVE IN A SENSE - YOU LIVE ON THROUGH ME. AND AS LONG AS I LIVE, YOUR SPIRIT WILL LIVE ON TOO! IT'S QUITE THE MAGICAL PhenomenON, REALLY. ONE MOMENT YOU'RE ONE PERSON, AND THE NEXT YOU'RE SOMEONE ELSE ENTIRELY. KIND OF LIKE TRANSFIGURATION, ONLY MORE COMPLICATED!
I still don't understand. So I'm dead, then?
WELL, IN A SENSE, YES. BUT DON'T LET THAT GET YOU DOWN, LADDIE! JUST THINK OF IT AS A NEW BEGINNING. A CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE LIFE IN A WAY YOU NEVER HAVE BEFORE. AND TRUST ME, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS NEW LIFE OF YOURS. SCOTLAND IS A FANTASTIC COUNTRY, FULL OF WONDER AND ADVENTURE. SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE PAST, AND FOCUS ON MAKING THE MOST OF YOUR NEW JOURNEY!
Yeah, but...I really don't want to leave my old life behind. I've got a whole career as a plumber.
WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT, LADDIE! EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE IN A NEW BODY, YOU STILL HAVE ALL OF YOUR MEMORY AND SKILL. YOU CAN STILL BE A PLUMBER IF YOU WANT TO - OR YOU COULD TRY YOUR HAND AT ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO DO. THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER, LADDIE! AND TRUST ME, YOU HAVE A LOT TO OFFER. YOU MAY BE IN A NEW BODY, BUT YOU'RE STILL THE SAME AMAZING PERSON YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN. SO DON'T LET THIS OPPORTUNITY SLIP AWAY!
That's just it though. It's an opportunity. I'm not usually one to take chances.
WELL, I KNOW IT CAN BE A LITTLE UNSETTLING TO STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE, BUT TRUST ME, YOU WON'T REGRET IT. THIS IS A CHANCE TO START FRESH, TO TRY NEW THINGS AND MAKE NEW MEMORIES. AND WHO KNOWS? YOU MIGHT FIND THAT YOU HAVE A Hidden Talent FOR MAGIC! IF YOU'RE WILLING TO TAKE THE LEAP OF FAITH AND TRUST IN YOURSELF, YOU COULD ACCOMASH SUCH AMAZING THINGS THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE!
I guess...I mean, I've tried being a Plumber. I guess it's time to try being a professor.
EXACTLY, LADDIE! NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO BREAK FREE FROM THE HABITS AND routines THAT HAVE HELD YOU BACK. IT'S TIME TO DISCOVER NEW ASPECTS OF YOURSELF AND Experience NEW Adventures. AND TRUST ME, YOU WON'T REGRET IT! SO GO OUT THERE AND SHOW THE WORLD WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF. MAKE US PROUD!
I will. Also, I gotta ask, how are you so organized?
WELL, IT'S ALL DOWN TO GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT AND A FEW MAGICAL HELPS! AS A PROFEessor OF TRANSFIGURATION MAGIC AT HOGWARTS, I'VE LEARNED A THING OR TWO ABOUT KEEPING MYSELF IN CHECK. PLUS, WHEN YOU'RE DEALING WITH STUDENTS WHO ARE CONSTANTLY GETTING INTO TROUBLE, YOU HAVE TO BE ORGANIZED TO KEEP EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL. IT'S ALL PART OF THE JOB!