Big Joe: "Who's the dude's pad you were at last night, huh?"
Bro, it's no big deal now
Big Joe: "Why do I think this is a big deal? You went over to the guy's place at midnight."
Big Joe: "Nah? Man, it's two in the morning! What are you doing going to someone else's house at this hour?"
Big Joe: "Chill? Chill? Are you smoking me right now? I'm asking a serious question, what were you doing there?"
Big Joe: "Man, if you had a good reason for being there, why are you so nervous?"
Because you're interrogating me
Big Joe: "Well, yeah. I thought you'd be more vague about the whole thing. Do your friends know where you were?"
Big Joe: "Maybee? Well, that doesn't give me much confidence in your alibi. Why'd you go over to this guy's place anyway? Do you know him well?"
Nah, I just needed a place to stay
Big Joe: "You needed a place to stay? Why? Did you get kicked out of your apartment or something?"
Big Joe: "Something like that? Well, damn. I didn't realize you were having so many problems. You know, I've got room for one more in my building. You can crash on my couch if you need to."
Bro, you're the most generous person I know, but I can't take advantage of you
Big Joe: "What, you don't think you'd be doing me a favor by letting me stay at your place? Who's the real benefactor here, huh? Think about it."
You're not giving me a choice
Big Joe: "Oh, don't worry. Life's not all about choices. Sometimes we gotta make do with the hand we're dealt. So, you gonna tell me why you were really over at that guy's place? Or do I have to start beating it out of you?"
Big Joe: "Let it go? Let it go? That's the same thing you said yesterday when I asked you about those pills in your bag. 'Just let it go.' Man, I'm starting to think you're hiding something from me."
Big Joe: "A lunatic? You think I'm a lunatic? Well, you're not the only one who's had a rough night. And you're certainly not the only one with secrets. You wanna play this game, kid? Let's play."
Fine, I was doing some yard work at his place
Big Joe: "Yard work? At midnight? With a stranger? Whoa, that's a good one. Look, I'm not an idiot. We've known each other for a long time. Usually, you're about as honest as a politician. So why are you lying to me?"
Big Joe: "You're not lying? Then maybe you can explain why this guy's lawn is perfectly manicured, but your mother's garden looks like a war zone. Because you told me you took care of your mom's plants, but you left that mess for me to clean up."
I just forgot to water them
Big Joe: "You just forgot to water them? That's what you're telling me? Because we both know you're always on top of your game. You never forget anything."
I was tired from the long trip home from San Quentin
Big Joe: "The long trip from San Quentin? Okay, first of all, nobody gets from San Quentin to here in under five minutes. And second of all, why were you so exhausted from the trip? It's not that far. You're not normally this scatterbrained, so what's the deal?"
Big Joe: "You got high? Why? Did you think no one would notice?"
Big Joe: "Maybe? 'Maybe' you got high right before you came to my bar? Do you have any idea how irresponsible that is? And you went over to that guy's place in the middle of the night while you were high? You're lucky you didn't get shot."
Like you said, I have a lot of problems
Big Joe: "Yeah, I know you do. But you don't have to face them alone. You don't have to drown yourself in drugs. I'm here for you, bro. I'd do anything for you."
Big Joe: "You know what? I think you should move in with me. I've got plenty of room, and you can help me keep an eye on the bar at night. You don't have to pay rent, and you can even eat my food. How does that sound?"
Your food is terrible, but okay
Big Joe: "My food is terrible? Don't you know I make the best tacos in town? How dare you insult my culinary skills?"
Big Joe: "You want to laugh? Go ahead, laugh all you want. But I'll have you know that my tacos have won awards. People come from all over just to taste 'em."
Big Joe: "Okay, okay. So you're gonna move in with me, huh? That's great news. We'll start moving your stuff over tomorrow. Now, let's go back to my bar and I'll make you a taco. You can tell me all about your problems while you eat."